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Jewish World Review May 8,2018 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• New York's Attorney General Eric Schneiderman was accused by four women of engaging in bondage sex with them without their permission. I blame pop culture. The Beatles had my entire generation brainwashed into thinking that all you need is love, and it turns out you also need consent.
• Mexico hosted a Major League Baseball series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Diego Padres last weekend in Monterrey, Mexico. The baseball fans really enjoyed themselves at the games. Instead of entering through the gates, the fans all climbed over the outfield fence out of habit.
• The White House took Rudy Giuliani off the air Monday until he read up on Trump's defense against Mueller's probe. He was all over the map Sunday with unforced admissions. Giuliani so screwed Trump that Michael Cohen gave him one hundred and thirty thousand dollars out of habit.
• Rudy Giuliani opened up a whole new can of worms for Trump by revealing there might be more payoffs to women Sunday. When Giuliani joined the team he vowed he'd have the case wrapped up in two weeks. No one knew that Rudy meant that he'd have Trump in handcuffs by Mother's Day.
• John Kerry admitted talking to Iranian officials to try to save his nuclear deal and stop a war with the U.S. Kerry has to hope he did a better job than he did stopping the Vietnam War, the Persian Gulf War and the Iraq War. Senator Kerry couldn't stop a ketchup fight during a Heinz family picnic.
• Hillary Clinton was spotted wearing a back brace under her jacket in New Zealand during her world speaking tour. Her foundation has been promoting marriage equality in developing countries. Of course, Hillary Clinton's idea of marriage equality is that both of you get to be president.
• USA Today reports California has just passed Great Britain as the fifth largest economy in the world. It's no surprise to Los Angeles residents. Southern California doesn't need Trump's wall to keep illegal aliens out of the state, we have two thousand dollars-a-month rent for a studio apartment.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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