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"G0D decided the election!" the man shouted from underneath a giant and not-very-accurate papier-mâché model of Donald Trump's head. "I am G0D of the GOP - "
"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT," interrupted the man next to him, a pro-Trump activist playing a ram's-horn trumpet he had purchased on eBay.
"...This is the way things are!" the papier-mâché head continued, his voice a little muffled under the costume. He was an anti-Trump protester from the group Code Pink, attacking Trump by impersonating him and acting egotistical. "And you women -"
"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" went the horn again, blaring over the words of the head.
As Trump held closed-door meetings Thursday with Republican leaders in Washington, the scene outside captured an election where Americans became so divided, they even forgot how to disagree.
On the Capitol Hill sidewalk, a man who was barely making sense was drowned out by a man who was making random noises.
"Okay: Believe in spiritual or don't believe in spiritual; G0D spoke to me and said that he was raising up Trump to trump the evil government of Obama," said Johnny Rice, 48, the man with the horn, in a quiet moment later. He had come in from Maryland.
As the real Trump discussed party unity with House Speaker Paul D. Ryan inside, the faux Trump head, frustrated, moved to the other side of the street. Free for a moment from the Trump trumpet, he resumed: "Donald Trump, you can't hide. We can see your racist side!"
Trump made three stops on his one-day tour of Washington: at two Republican Party offices on Capitol Hill, and at the offices of a nearby law firm. He came and went in a parade of black vehicles, waving through tinted glass but saying nothing to the media or the crowd.
At the U.S. Capitol itself, pro-immigration activists delivered taco salads to a couple dozen Republican lawmakers. The stunt was intended to tie them to Trump, who last week sent a tweet celebrating Cinco de Mayo by eating a taco bowl.
The crowds outside the two Capitol Hill stops were largely anti-Trump but fairly small.
At the first event, held at the Republican National Committee headquarters near the Capitol South Metro station, a group of young activists gathered to protest Trump's call for a mass deportation of undocumented immigrants. They carried a sign that read "RIP GOP," and held up a red cardboard coffin that they said represented the death of the Republican Party and "all of the injustice" it has directed at minorities.
As he walked into the meeting with Trump, Rep. Tom Cole, Okla., an ally of GOP leadership, tried to temper expectations.
"I wouldn't expect anybody to shift on positions or anything. This really is very much getting to know one another," Cole said. After the meeting, he added, it would important for both Ryan and Trump to "say something positive" about the other.
A low bar.
But at least they would be able to hear each other inside. Outside, the only thing missing from the bullhorn-and-ram's-horn showdown was a bagpiper.
Then there was a bagpiper. He seemed to have invited himself.
"Freedom of speech is a fine thing," said piper Ben Williams. "Freedom of music is a fine thing, too."
Williams said his piping had a political message, too. He said he was an independent, tired of the nasty rhetoric on both sides. His public service was to drown them all out.
Later, the scene shifted to the National Republican Senatorial Committee office, on the north side of Capitol Hill. Staffers could be seen waiting under an odd bit of office decoration: a flag from the Texas Revolution, adorned with a cannon and the words "Come and Take It."
In Texas, it was a rebuke to the Mexican army, which sought to take back a cannon. In this context, apparently, the cannon is the Senate. If the pundits are right, Trump may make it harder to keep.
Outside that meeting, a group of snappy-casual protesters showed up from the Democratic super PAC American Bridge. They held professionally done signs that showed various GOP senators wearing Trump-style "Make America Great Again" hats.
They joined with the coffin-bearing immigration protesters and waved signs at the building after Trump went in.
There was no sign of the papier-mâché Trump head. At the first rally, it had already been splitting open in the back.
"Show me what democracy looks like!" said one of the immigration protesters, Deyanira Aldana.
"THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!" the small group of protestors responded.
But, in this particular democracy, the more important story was probably what was happening across the street, behind the police line and the closed doors.
Previously:
• 05/03/16: Trump says he has more foreign policy experience than 'virtually anybody'
• 04/07/16: With new hires, Trump's unconventional campaign about to become very
• 03/24/16: Nothing is off limits for Donald Trump, including spouses
• 03/02/16: Who supports Donald Trump --- and why: His coalition is broad and getting deeper
• 03/02/16: From here on, Donald Trump is doing this his way
• 02/22/16: 25 quotes capturing Trump's final pitch to South Carolina
• 02/18/16: 'Build that wall' has taken on a life of its own at Trump's rallies --- but he's still serious
• 02/16/16: Here are 76 of Donald Trump's many campaign promises
• 02/01/16: Is Donald Trump for real? We'll start getting an answer in Iowa
• 01/28/16: Fracas with Fox News shows Trump's need for control
• 01/19/16: Why so many evangelicals have faith in Donald Trump
• 01/14/16: In Pensacola, Trump said . . . What did he say? Can you hear him?
• 12/28/15:Trump fans can rally, but will they vote?
• 12/14/15: Trump really wants to win Iowa; here are 6 signs that he's worried
• 12/02/15: Trump takes gentler, more personable tone in New Hampshire
• 11/13/15: No more Mr. Nice Trump: The Donald lets loose in Iowa
• 10/28/15: Donald Trump to Iowa: 'What the [blazes] are you people doing to me?'
