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Jewish World Review May 15, 2012/ 23 Iyar, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | President Obama's visit to George Clooney's house outraged Los Angeles commuters Thursday because it closed roads for security reasons. The West Hollywood sheriffs seal off streets and boulevards for celebrities all the time. They are called DUI roadblocks.
Mitt Romney apologized Friday for wrestling a kid to the ground in prep school forty-seven years ago and cutting his long hair. Talk about one-upmanship. Just as Obama is saluted in Hollywood for backing gay marriage rights, Mitt reveals his past as a hairdresser.
Mayan calendars were found by archaeologists in Guatemala Friday that extend well beyond December. This nullifies the Mayan prediction that the world will end this year. There goes the last chance to save Social Security from all the Baby Boomers soon to retire.
Harvard scientists reported drinking red wine helps you look younger. It also makes others better looking. The ability to make red wine is the only reason California wasn't expelled forty years ago for long hair, drug use and not wearing any underclothes to school.
Time ran a cover photo of a woman breastfeeding a three-year-old boy standing on a step ladder. They're promoting breastfeeding until a kid is six. Democrats no longer think they can impeach Wisconsin's GOP governor so they're going after the dairy industry.
The Houston Chronicle fired its high society reporter Thursday for moonlighting as a stripper in a club. People were amazed when they read the story online. Houston is so rich from the high oil prices they not only have high society, they still have a newspaper.
The U.S. Navy successfully tested a new interceptor Friday that can down any missile North Korea can launch. That's if they ever get one in the air. Until now the Navy has destroyed every missile North Korea launched by airdropping SEALS a mile off their coast.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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