Jewish World Review May 13, 2009 / 19 Iyar 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama stood at the lectern at the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday and told funny jokes about himself and his family. The press walked out. They will not tolerate anyone telling jokes about Barack Obama, they think it's racist.
President Obama did stand-up comedy at Saturday's White House Correspondents' Dinner where the president got huge laughs from a room full of reporters. It was like a worship service. At last he found a church he can join with a clear conscience.
The Shuttle Atlantis blasted off Monday at Cape Canaveral. The astronauts were told to disregard the engine warning light that came on after launch. It's not clear at this point if the government took over GM or if GM took over the government.
Hawaii's lawmakers voted Friday to have the Aloha State celebrate the nation's first Islam Day. They said Islam Day will be in recognition of the religion's great impact on America. The impact was great and the fireball was simply spectacular.
Mexico declared an end to the swine flu epidemic on Monday. People had already forgotten about it. When Americans realized that the Taliban rebels were just an hour's drive from Pakistan's nuclear arsenal, suddenly germ warfare seemed manageable.
President Obama met with trade lobbyists for hospitals, doctors, insurance and drug companies Monday. Neither side cares about health. He was dealing with lobbyists and they're dealing with the first president in history who smokes Newports.
Joan Rivers won Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday. The final scene was held in the American Museum of Natural History. She and Donald Trump had a big fight at the fossils exhibition about which one of them was forming a better oil pool.
National Security Adviser James Jones said Sunday he isn't sure if Osama bin Laden is dead or alive. No one believes him. Everyone knows we have satellites that tell who is alive, who is dead, and how much they bet on Sunday's Boston Celtics game.
The Postal Service raised stamp prices to forty-four cents Monday in response to falling business. They also threatened to end Saturday service if business doesn't pick up. The government just announced that unless everyone buys a GM car, they're going to sell them for a hundred thousand dollars and they'll only have two tires.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton