In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 24, 2005 / 15 Iyar, 5765

Beatification befits Saint Hillary

By Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Now that there is a new Pope, bringing with him the possibilities of naming new saints, there appears to be a movement of biblical proportions afoot for the beatification of Hillary Clinton. Gone are the memories of disappearing files, ducking Grand Juries, and just being beyond the reach of prosecutors. "They couldn't lay a finger on her" — a phrase whose only province used to be in grade-B Warner Brothers gangster movies — became her motto when she occupied the Clinton White House. Gone and forgotten is probably the only real miracle she performed, which was changing $1,000 into $100,000 in ten months ($6,300 of which was earned overnight). Even the Mafia could not get a better return on its money. However, in what must be one of the most interesting miracles since the fishes and loaves, she has transmuted herself into a figure of faith, principle, and piety. Like Saul on the road to Tarsus, who had seen the light of his Lord, she has transformed herself.

Anna Quindlen, writing in Newsweek magazine, where her full page column occupies the prime-space last page of the magazine, pontificates:

...we [Hillary and she] talked about faith, about how both of us believed our religion had led us toward a heightened interest in various social-reform issues.

That's the real Hillary Rodham Clinton. A lifelong Methodist...

If that was the real Hillary Clinton, then she did a pretty good job of hiding it the last ten years. Also, many Methodists will be surprised to learn that the practice of their faith is not incompatible with anti-Semitism. Remember Dick Morris revealing that when he was close to the Clintons and there was a disagreement concerning money owed him, Hillary, in anger, addressing his demand for payment, referred to him as "You people." In the revealing shorthand of an angry person, she was not exposing her inner thoughts and prejudices about Swiss bankers. Also, who can forget the wet one she planted on Mrs. Arafat — who turned out to be so low that even the Palestinians wanted to get rid of her.

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Ms. Quindlen goes on to write, "Her [Hillary's] concern that the culture is deadening our kids to sex..." Excuse us, but we thought that it was the Clintons who brought sex into our living rooms via television and made every kid who turned on the six o'clock news an expert in oral sex.

Ms. Quindlen also quoted a speech by the real Hillary Clinton where she spoke of a spiritual vacuum in the country. If they gave out Nobel Prizes for creation of spiritual vacuums in countries, the Clintons would surely be contenders.

Ms. Quindlen ends her article by noting and quoting Mrs. Clinton , "...she [Hillary Clinton] spoke of changing the national ethos to the golden rule, so Americans 'truly begin to...treat them [each other] as they wish to be seen.'" Actually the Golden Rule is to treat each other as you would want to be treated. Well, that the Clintons did in fact do — particularly Mr. Clinton, and particularly if the other person was female. With his phone sex, he was able to actually treat himself as he would have others treat him.

Mrs. Clinton has made up with Newt Gingrich, her husband got himself a world trip with former President Bush on Air Force One, and she has now taken a pro-life position. But until she can do the water to wine trick, we will take a pass on seriously considering her and her baggage as Presidential material.

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JWR contributors Jackie Mason and Raoul Felder need no introduction. Comment on this column by clicking here.



© 2005, Jackie Mason & Raul Felder.