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Jewish World Review May 13, 2005 / 4 Iyar, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The U.S. Capitol sounded the evacuation alarm due to the
Cessna overflight, prompting lawmakers to stop whatever they were
doing and flee the building. The nation is so relieved. Any day
that Congress can't do business is a day that saves us money.
Homeland Security signaled red alert when a Cessna flew near
the White House Wednesday. Not again. Twelve years ago a Cessna
crashed into the side of the White House just outside Hillary's
bedroom, so the president was never in any danger.
Hillary Clinton gave a speech on border security in the
Senate Wednesday. She looked jet-lagged. Even though Hillary has
become a true New Yorker, she loves to have her fundraisers in
Hollywood because she gets the money three hours earlier.
San Francisco agreed to host an accordion festival in June.
There was heated debate. The city prides itself on its tolerance
for pot or transgender lifestyle or gay coupling or devil worship,
but accordion music is considered just plain sick.
NBA Commissioner David Stern said Tuesday the NBA playoffs
aren't the same without the Los Angeles Lakers. The team's slide
just won't end. The Lakers hit a new low Thursday when Kobe Bryant
lost a running shoe contract to Jennifer Wilbanks.
The Anaheim City Council unveiled plans for a new NFL
stadium on one hundred fifty acres of city land. How hot is that
property? In her next Internet sex video Paris Hilton plans to
dress up as undeveloped real estate in Orange County.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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