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Jewish World Review May 12, 2005 / 3 Iyar, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks checked into rehab Tuesday
to deal with her mental issues. She's had three shoplifting
convictions. The good news is, for the first time in her movie
career, Winona Ryder will be able to do her own stunts.
Phoenix Suns star Steve Nash was elected Most Valuable
Player of the National Basketball Association Monday. There was
widespread suspicion that he got the award because he's white.
Let's face it, the sport is bleeding viewers to BBC America.
Hillary Clinton's finance guy is on trial for under-
reporting the cost of an L.A. fundraiser. He's got an interesting
defense. Under-reporting in Los Angeles is a common tactic used to
cheat the actors out of their share of a movie's profits.
Senator Bill Frist offered rule changes to end the
filibustering of judicial nominees. Democrats and Republicans are
showing no signs of compromise. They were last seen choking each
other on the floor of the Senate over the issue of life.
Bill Clinton backed the new Million Man March scheduled this
October in Washington. It's a Day of Absence from work and school,
followed by a Day of Marching, followed by a Day of Religious
Reflection. It's the time-tested way of achieving change through vagrancy.
John Rocker returned to professional baseball Monday to
pitch for a semi-pro league. Six years ago he was crucified for
asking how all the foreigners were able to get into New York.
However, the truth is that Americans would rather invade two
countries and have national ID cards than admit we should've
listened to John Rocker.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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