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Jewish World Review May 11, 2005 / 2 Iyar, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Kentucky Derby was won by Giacomo at Churchill Downs
Saturday. The fifty-to-one longshot's victory allowed the bookies
to make a record haul of ninety-nine million dollars from losing
bets. A racetrack is a place where windows clean people.
Barry Bonds was reported Sunday to be under investigation by
the IRS for earning cash income from autograph shows. His mistress
testified she hid it for him. All he ever wanted was an old-fashioned
girl, the kind who would keep her testimony to his steroid use.
North Korea denounced the United States Tuesday and denied
that they're planning to test a nuclear bomb. These people are
fearless. During the awards ceremony following the Los Angeles
riots the Koreans were voted Most Likely to Rebuild in the Same
Neighborhood.
Tony Blair's resignation was demanded by Labor Party members
in a clash over party principles Monday. The socialists are
accusing the centrists of being unfaithful. This is the British
equivalent of Hillary making Bill sleep on the couch.
President Bush sent word from Europe Monday demanding that
the U.S. Senate hold an up-or-down vote on the nomination of
Priscilla Owen for the appellate court. We're in a vicious cycle.
Judicial nominations have been debated in a suspicious atmosphere
ever since President Clinton tried to appoint Paula Abdul a
federal district judge.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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