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Jewish World Review May 3, 2005 / 24 Nissan, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks was found alive Saturday
after faking her own kidnapping Tuesday. It got huge publicity.
The next day Paris Hilton claimed she had been kidnapped and her
family threatened to kill anyone who pays the ransom.
Los Angeles Police Chief Bill Bratton expressed concern
Friday that freeway shootings are now back in fashion. It will
pass. If you want to feel secure in Los Angeles you can try owning
a gun, but most people rely on delusions of grandeur.
President Bush reduced benefits for the rich in his Social
Security plan. It adds benefits for the poor. He's the first
Republican to propose more money for the poor at the expense of
the rich since Augusta National raised their caddy fees.
Hillary Clinton was loudly cheered in a packed house in
Madison Friday. She refuses to capitalize on her husband's good
name among Democrats on the trail. Three times last week she asked
the emcee to simply introduce her as Hillary of Arc.
Bill Clinton joins Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee in a New
York school today to help fight childhood obesity. They each
recently lost over a hundred pounds. Governor Huckabee went on the
Atkins and Bill Clinton is living apart from his wife.
The Automobile Club Thursday forecast record high gasoline
prices all summer long. The cost of transporting goods is through
the roof. Anymore when a truck driver tells you it's his bridge
night, you don't know if he means cards or jumping.
North Korea announced Saturday it may conduct underground
nuclear tests this summer despite world opinion. They are the most
isolated and bizarre society. At Wendy's in North Korea they
advertise at least one finger in every bowl of chili.
Commissioner Bud Selig proposed banishment from baseball
Saturday for third-time steroid offenders. This is starting to
look like a witch hunt. Barry Bonds had his injured knee drained
Thursday and could face charges of destroying evidence.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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