Jewish World Review May 8, 2003 / 6 Iyar, 5763

Keith Olbermann

Keith Olbermann
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Consumer Reports

Because you just can't take the news too seriously | From the "clearly we are not paying our public servants enough cash" file: On official paperwork, six candidates for city office in Charleston, West Virginia have misspelled their party's name. One claims to be a "repucian," another a "democart," a third a "repbulican," and five democratic candidates for a local office in Bristol Township in Pennsylvania were shocked to see two large outdoor advertisements endorsing them for the primary two weeks from today. They read, "Pete Belmonte, Jamie Kravcak, Dana Bowers, Sherri Champey and Danette Ziegelhofer. "Democrates, who care." Democrates. D-E-M-O-C-R-A-T-E-S. It wouldn't be quite so bad if the five "democrates" were not running for the Bristol Township school board.

On Liz Hurley's business: Actress Elizabeth Hurley denies that she got overly affectionate with boyfriend Arun Nayar on a recent flight from New York to London. The Hurley-burley, topsy-turvy, willy-nilly hanky-panky was alleged to have transpired on the beds provided by British Airways in first class. It also would not make up for the slightly similar conduct by Hurley's ex-beau, Hugh Grant. But the airlines is laughing all the way to the publicity bank. A BA spokeswoman says, "We're delighted to see that British Airways' spacious flat beds in first class are being put to good use. It is a welcome example of how our unique flat beds offer not only great comfort, but room enough for two." Reads like their next ad campaign.

On celebrities as role-models: Catherine Zeta-Jones was captured recently by a paparazzi using a long-distance lens, she was pregnant, topless and smoking a cigarette. It's the cigarette part that's at issue. Was that celebrity being a bad role model, or was it an invasion of privacy? If you want to take her to task for something, take her to task for those phone ads. Every time I've ever said this or written this, I've gotten 100 percent - 100 percent-negative response. But let me try it again just in case: Celebrities are the last minority group whom everybody is authorized to bash.

On insensitive headlines: The newspaper "The Idaho Statesman" has placed an apology on its front page for a well-intentioned, if very poorly executed tribute to Aron Ralston's courage. Its headline about Mr. Ralston Saturday read, "With guts like this, who needs two arms?" The newspaper describes that headline as "insensitive."

On Keith's old boss: The dot-com collapse and the investigations of possible financial shenanigans at AOL Time Warner cut more than $7 billion from Ted's $9 billion in assets. So today Ted Turner finally cut his losses, selling about 60 million shares, more than half his stake in that company, for around $790 million. Ted Turner will never be poor. He is still enormously wealthy by just about anybody's measure except his own, except in his ability to use his money to try to make a better world. Ted Turner used some of that money- not that much of it, incidentally-to give Bob Lilly, who prepared much of a segment about him, his first national TV job. And he gave my boss, Phil Griffin, his first TV job. And he gave me my first TV job. Thanks, boss. And sorry.

There's a job here any time you need one.

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The writer hosts MSNBC's “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” The news program, dedicated to all of the day’s top stories, telecasts weeknights, 8-9 p.m. ET. Comment by clicking here.

04/30/03: Should we be more scared of SCARS, or a government that will readily deny you your freedom on the suspicion that you may have it?
04/29/03: Man bites dog --- really!
04/28/03: Because you just can't take the news too seriously ...
04/25/03: The panic over SARS
04/22/03: Playing —and greeting cards in a changed world
04/21/03: Reading your own obituary ... and other 'oops' moments
04/15/03: Saddam Hussein and the Sorcerer's Stone: The secret to Saddam's immortality

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