Jewish World Review May 2, 2003 / 30 Nissan, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
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Dr. Atkins was remembered in full-page ads in USA Today by
his diet institute Monday. Self-improvement can get out of hand.
One guy gave up sugar, smoking, caffeine, drinking and sex and he
was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Gerald Ford gave a lecture at the University of Akron on
personal ethics and values Monday. He's known for his honesty.
Gerald Ford never told a lie about his golf score because anybody
could look back up the fairway and count the wounded.
Jennifer Lopez demanded a prenuptial agreement giving her
half of Ben Affleck's fortune if he cheats. It brings a talented
woman to light. In addition to being a United States Senator and
writing a book, Hillary Clinton has set up a consulting practice.
Don Rumsfeld said Thursday U.S. troops will leave Saudi
Arabia. Hard times are ahead. Now that the U.S. has all the oil it
needs, Saudi Arabia could be forced to earn U.S. dollars by
renting out their royal palaces for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.
Vladimir Putin tried to humiliate Tony Blair Thursday in
Moscow. He demanded on camera to know where was Saddam Hussein and
where were the weapons of mass destruction. Tony Blair had the
manners not to ask him where was the Soviet Union.
President Bush landed on the USS Abraham Lincoln Thursday
and made a speech about the Iraq war. He cautioned the nation that
the mission is not complete and the hostilities are far from over.
The Democrats don't even have a nominee yet.
Baghdad Bob tried to surrender in Baghdad on Thursday but
U.S. troops wouldn't take him. He became famous as the Iraqi
Information Minister who denied U.S. tanks were in Baghdad while
he was under fire by U.S. tanks in Baghdad. Baghdad Bob is the
first man since Richard Pryor deemed by U.S. authorities to be too
funny to prosecute.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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