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Jewish World Review April 17,2018 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• UN Ambassador Nikki Haley stood by the Allied missile attack on the chemical weapons plants in Damascus which dictator Bashar al-Assad refused to dismantle. After fifteen months, the president's foreign policy is crystal clear. The Trump Doctrine states that Syria has elected to receive.
• President Trump was happy to tell a Florida group that all one hundred Tomahawk missiles hit their targets in Syria. Things never go completely your way. The U.S. missiles were so accurate, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has begun investigating Trump for colluding with aerospace engineer and space architect Werner von Braun.
• James Comey released his book and was met with a storm of publicity. He was ripped by Clinton people for costing Hillary the election and by Trump people for countenancing a Deep State resistance to Trump's presidency. Jim Comey's fame is fading out faster than a Syrian parakeet.
• Prime Minister Theresa May announced in Parliament that Russia launched a cyber-security attack on the U.S. and Britain. If the attack penetrates the cyber-security wall, it'd shut down our entire electrical power grid. Picture the panic in America when every phone is down to three percent.
• The L.A. Times reports the prices of apartments in Southern California are sky-high due to the shortage of available housing. The maintenance is always a headache. The swimming pool on the roof of my apartment building has way too much chlorine but fortunately we have a No Bombing sign.
• Black Panther roared again at the box office last week, passing Titanic as the second-biggest box office hit in history. Comic book super-heroes sell tickets. The genre is so potentially lucrative that DC comics just came out with the first trans-gender super-hero who's called Wonder if it's a Woman.
• President Trump declared Mission Accomplished after an Allied raid destroyed Syrian poison gas-making facilities. It's a miracle no Americans were killed. The very morning after Donald Trump was elected president Syria agreed to take in ten thousand refugees from Beverly Hills.
• The White House put together an attack on Syria that was a joint effort of our closest Allies. Israel provided the ground target intelligence. The U.S. was in charge of the air attacks, Britain was in charge of submarine-based missile attacks, and France was in charge of refreshments.
• The U.S., Britain and France joined forces to strike at Syrian chemical manufacturing plants. The German armed forces were not asked to join in the Allied attack on Syria for the same reason that I'm never asked to go get the beer. For as well as we've been doing, it's still too soon.
• Middle Eastern TV networks aired footage of Syrian pro-government demonstrators dancing in the streets on the morning after the air attacks by the U.S., UK and France on Syria. The demonstrators were ecstatic. The Syrians have no idea why Italy surrendered, but they'll take it.
• GOP former Speaker John Boehner took a job on the board of a legal pot corporation. That's a complete reversal of his previous pronouncements when he was in Congress. Apparently when Boehner said a few years ago he hates people who take drugs, he meant airport security and customs.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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