|
|
|
Jewish World Review April 7, 2015 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The White House disclosed that President Obama and his family are planning to move to New York City and work in New York after his second term in office expires in twenty-one months. He is already acting like he owns the town. The government of Iran just sold him the Brooklyn Bridge.
• Iran newspapers reported Friday that the U.S.-Iran deal allows Iran to update plutonium plants, enrich uranium, and add centrifuges. It's the opposite of what the New York Times said. President Obama will only read the New York Times because he doesn't like to cloud up his mind with opposing points of view.
• The Weather Channel reported tornado season got an early start in Oklahoma Friday. They are mesmerizing to watch as they form in the sky. Visiting relatives who never saw a tornado will stand with their face pressed up against the window for hours and if it gets too bad you have to let them inside.
• The NFL made history on Friday by hiring Sarah Mitchell to be the very first female NFL game referee. She starts work in September. It'll be the first time a woman blew the whistle on an NFL player that didn't result in a mug shot, spouse abuse charges and a stern lecture from the commissioner.
• NASA announced that a Texas company working with NASA scientists developed a rocket that can reach Mars in thirty-nine days. We're preparing the planet for colonization. Right now the Mars Rover is building a Protestant church, a race track and a golf club that Martians aren't allowed to join.
• Hillary Clinton leased two floors of a Brooklyn office building from a major campaign donor on Friday believed to be her future presidential campaign headquarters. Clinton political headquarters are traditionally two stories. One story you tell the New York Times, and one story you tell House investigators.
• Hillary Clinton fell behind a generic Republican candidate in a Gallup sample presidential poll for the first time. A generic Republican is a Republican with no particular name, no known beliefs, from no identifiable region. A police sketch artist couldn't have drawn a better likeness of Mitt Romney.
• The Coachella Music Festival banned people from bringing selfie sticks to the rock concerts this week near Palm Springs. The selfie sticks attach to smartphones and allow people in the crowd to take even more panoramic photos of themselves. It makes the bands feel like they're playing to a wheat field.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
