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Jewish World Review April 23, 2014 / 23 Nissan, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• The Boston Marathon drew a record-crowd of flag-waving Americans to Boyleston Street to cheer the finish of the twenty-six mile race Monday. For the first time in years, an American won the race. Kenya joined Ethiopia in filing a formal protest with the United Nations.
• Boston security was heavy during the race Monday, reflecting the Boston Strong response to last year's terror attack. They found last year's terrorist bomber in a boat in a garden. It appears his knowledge of pressure-cooker bombs is much greater than his knowledge of sailing.
• Hawaiian Airlines reports a sixteen-year-old boy was unharmed after he stowed away in the wheel well of a flight from California to Maui Monday. It was his choice. Airline officials conceded the boy's point that he had more legroom and fresher air than the passengers in coach.
• Chelsea Clinton made her parents very happy Friday by announcing that she's expecting a baby this fall. The birth will cause warm family moments. You can just see Grandpa Bill making cute faces through the glass at the hospital nursery, and that's just at the nursing staff.
• Food Safety News issued guidelines for the backyard barbecuing of steak and ground beef this summer on outdoor grills. They're trying to avoid e-coli outbreaks from undercooked meat. It's considered a dangerous sign if your steak is so undercooked that it's eating the salad.
• Vladimir Putin added Russian troops to the Ukraine border Monday and built up Russian forces near the Baltic states and Byelorussia. Americans took notice. Warren Buffett is now offering one billion dollars to whoever guesses all the nations Vladimir Putin invades correctly.
• New York Times columnist David Brooks told Meet the Press President Obama has a manhood problem. That could change quickly. This week Mr. Obama is going to try to fly into and out of Malaysia safely, and if he succeeds he could overnight become an action-adventure hero.
• Toronto mayor Rob Ford said at his re-election kick-off party in Toronto on Friday that he's on the wagon and not drinking alcohol or doing drugs. That pretty much leaves food. When Rob Ford goes to McDonald's, they speed up the line by asking him what he doesn't want.
• The Coachella Music Festival drew seventy-five thousand fans to the California desert on Easter where the L.A. crowd mixed with bikers, rockabillies, and gang-bangers. It was quite an eyeful . You used to have to go to the circus to see a fat tattooed lady, now they're everywhere.
• NFL former wide receiver and ESPN analyst Keyshawn Johnson was arrested at his home in California Monday on charges of spousal battery. He was a star at USC. A lot of kids grew up in Los Angeles wanting to be just like O.J. Simpson, but in the last eighteen years, only Keyshawn.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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