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Jewish World Review April 17, 2012/ 25 Nissan 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Mitt Romney was compared to Mad Men's lead character Don Draper by the Obama campaign on Friday. What a reckless thing to say. It could wreck the ratings of the TV show if viewers thought that Don Draper no longer smoked, drank or cheated on his wife.
Ian Fleming's estate hired Scottish writer William Boyd Friday to write a new James Bond novel. The author said the story will be set in 1969. It's the last year you could fight for freedom in the world without being accused of racism, colonialism or cutting taxes.
The White House canceled food shipments to North Korea Friday after Pyongyang defied U.N. sanctions and fired a missile. That's about all we can do. The United States would never consider invading North Korea unless oil was discovered in their plutonium supply.
Royal Dutch Shell denied that a six-barrel oil sheen in the Gulf of Mexico had seeped from its wells. Just the hint of a leak brought a crowd to the beach. At a hundred dollars per barrel, homeless people have given up collecting aluminum cans and started skimming.
Joe Biden released a photo on Twitter Thursday of President Obama running around a swimming pool armed with a Super Soaker. He was having a ball. President Obama's Super Soaker has two speeds, one for wealthy Republicans and one for Democratic donors.
USA Today reported Friday that parents will spend an average of a thousand dollars outfitting their kids for spring proms this year. It's amazing more kids don't suffer whiplash. They've been taught for twelve years that study and hard work are the keys to success, and they find out in the last semester of school that the only thing that matters is how you look.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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