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Jewish World Review
Hormones rule home of Princess and mom
By
Celia Rivenbark
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
What an odd twist of nature that the Princess should be entering the teenage years (and experiencing all the hormones and drama that come with) at the precise moment that I'm leaving it all behind and contemplating the indignity of chin-tweezing. But this is as it should be, and I confess to a fascination with watching her and her friends navigate this weird and drama-prone terrain, where you can go from zero to screaming "OMG, YOU ARE SUCH A CREEPER!" to someone who accidentally sat a little too close on the activity bus. Middle school "couples" have relationships that are fickle and fast-moving. One broke up in the time it took to get from the lobby into the movie theater. "How can that be?" I asked the Princess. "What could've possibly changed in such a short time?" "Ohmigod, that was hours ago," she said wearily. "They've decided to just be friends. He was emotionally unavailable." "She got all that in the 16 minutes it took for them to get frozen Cokes?" "You don't understand! There's no point in wasting time on a relationship when you know it's not going to go anywhere." Part of me admires this brisk "cut your losses" mentality but, if it keeps up, marriage vows are going to be a tad problematic. Minister: " ... to have and to hold from this day forward ... " Couple (in unison) "Uhhhhhh, about that ... " Duh-hubby and I find the phrase "going out" eternally comical, which irritates the Princess as well. "But you don't GO anywhere. Why do you call it "going out"? Princess: "DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE FUN OF EVERYTHING?" Me: "Kinda." Of course, this is patched up in time for the request for money for shopping and a movie. Me: "You could sweep the patio and make a little extra money." Princess: "OK, but I HAVE to go! Everyone else is going! I will die if I don't get to see this movie!"
At this point, it's tempting to point out that emergency rooms across the country aren't littered with teens who didn't get to see the new Robert Pattinson movie on opening night. Chores are done, movie money is earned, and now begins the angst about what to wear. "I have no clothes," the Princess says solemnly, while I survey a room that looks as if Aeropostale ate too much and threw up all over it. "What about this?" I say, pairing some jeans and a cool T. "Oh, Mommie, that's perfect! I love you!!!!" I feel a little sorry for Duh these days, trapped as he is between two females who are affected by occasionally wild swings of hormonal havoc. He usually exits to "oil the lawnmower," which smacks of snipe-hunting to me. Wonder if he needs any help.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
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