In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review April 4, 2005 / 24 Adar II, 5765

My Living Will

By Tom Purcell

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | To my family, friends, physicians and my lousy, greedy future wife, who may attempt to whack me as soon as the court-settlement check clears:

I hereby request that if something awful happens to me, that I be kept alive. I have a spirit and soul, after all, and want G-d, not anyone else, deciding when it is time for me to check out.

But if I end up on a feeding tube, and my physicians determine that I am in a persistent vegetative state — if I am incapable of making and communicating my own health-care decisions — here is what I want:

Get more opinions! Doctors are often wrong. I have, in fact, been known to show symptoms of a persistent vegetative state following happy hours or a long night at the pub.

Before you do anything, I demand that a young female nurse administer a cold Coke and a Quarter Pounder with cheese, a technique that has successfully restored my cognitive functioning in the past.

But if I remain in a vegetative state, I demand that my mother, not my future wife, be my surrogate. I can understand my wife moving on with her life with another fellow, but it would be insane to allow such a woman to determine whether I live or die.

If my wife goes to court to win back the right to make life-death decisions on my behalf — if she successfully contests my living will and claims I would want to die — I demand that a competent private investigator makes sure she isn't also dating the doctors who keep telling judges I am in a persistent vegetative state.

If the courts side with her — and if they sided with Michael Schiavo, despite numerous conflicts of interests, they very well may — I want the best lawyers in the world to fight the culture-of-death crowd that embraces her.

If we lose in the state courts, I want my case appealed all the way to the top. I want the federal courts to start fresh — I want the same considerations that are routinely given to rapists and murderers, other Americans who have been sentenced to death.

And from the beginning, I want Jesse Jackson at my bedside, using his considerable rhetorical skills to articulate my plight. I want Ralph Nader on my legal team. I want Nat Hentoff, a genuine liberal — he approaches all issues with a broad and open mind in search for truth — articulating my right to live.

It is important that Americans understand what is really going on — that as a disabled person, it is my right to be given due process. That before anyone pulls my feeding tube, the evidence must be clear and convincing that this is what I really want, a consideration Terri Schiavo failed to receive.

I want the ACLU to side with my legal team, not my wife's. This organization claims to be a protector of individual rights, yet it used its influence to strip Terri of hers.

And if my wife is still able to convince the judges, based on hearsay and nothing in writing, that my living will is moot and that I would NOT want to live with a feeding tube, I refuse to die the way Terri did.

I refuse to make it easy on those who sentenced me to my end. No, I want my body to be set on fire, then shot from a rocket launcher over the nation's capital.

While my flaming body soars through the sky, I want every person who looked the other way — the media, the courts, and many allegedly liberal folks who claim to stand for individual rights — to experience my painful and spectacular death.

Most of all, I want my trajectory to be calculated so that I land in the office of my wife's lawyer, while he or she is meeting with my wife. I want them both to survive the resulting explosion — both in a persistent vegetative vtate that requires only a feeding tube for them to survive.

And I want their surrogates to be represented in court by the ACLU.

Tom Purcell

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© 2005, Tom Purcell