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Jewish World Review April 22, 2005 / 13 Nisan, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Illinois legislature debated a bill Tuesday to force
pharmacists to sell the morning-after birth control pill in drug
stores. The pharmacists don't have time to ask who is pregnant and
who is not. Everybody's nauseous after the Cub games.
Congress will hold hearings next week to investigate steroid
use in NFL football. Everybody is fed up. The pro scouts all say
that in tomorrow's NFL draft they are looking for old fashioned
football players, the kind with cocaine problems.
Jane Fonda's book signing in Kansas City drew one Vietnam
veteran who waited in line for ninety minutes to meet her
Wednesday and then spit tobacco juice in her face. The joke was on
him. At this point in her life it's no longer her face.
President Bush signed a law Wednesday making it harder for
debtors to protect assets from creditors. This will save lives.
Hospitals in Los Angeles may start admitting uninsured patients
just for the opportunity to buy their homes in foreclosure.
U.N. Ambassador nominee John Bolton was embarrassed in his
Senate confirmation hearings this week when fellow workers
testified that he goes ballistic on everybody. Comedians are
outraged. Just because Sam Kinison has been dead for fourteen
years doesn't mean his act is in the public domain.
New York Republicans formed a Stop Hillary Now committee to
defeat her. It brings back memories. Stop Hillary Now was
originally a Secret Service code meaning the boss's wife landed
thirty minutes early and he doesn't have his pants on yet.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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