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Jewish World Review April 14, 2005 / 5 Nisan, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Masters drew huge ratings as forty million viewers
watched Tiger Woods win Sunday. He swore out loud after several
bad shots. A fine was averted when CBS was able to convince the
Federal Communications Commission that he's a rap star.
The Washington Nationals will host Opening Day today at RFK
Stadium. The ballpark will be full of lobbyists and regulators and
congressmen and government officials. The construction crews were
busy right up to the last minute nailing down everything.
Wisconsin polled support Monday for a law that would make it
legal to hunt feral cats in towns and countrysides. Think of the
British aristocracy this will attract to Wisconsin seeking to
withdraw from fox hunting. To them, cat hunting is the patch.
Prince Charles and Camilla were featured in photographs on
the front page of every major American newspaper Sunday. There's
no denying our shared heritage. Around this time every year the
United States and Great Britain celebrate Sinko de Titanic.
Supreme Court Justices Anthony Kennedy and Clarence Thomas
appeared in front of Congress Tuesday to ask for more money for
security. They said they receive many death threats in their line
of work. Al Gore swears it's just a Christmas card.
Bill Clinton denounced GOP fundraiser Arthur Finkelstein
Tuesday for launching a Stop Hillary Now campaign. He said the
man's a gay Republican and full of self-loathing. The nastiest
thing a Southerner can instinctively do is compare you to Abe Lincoln.
The New York Library will auction its famed portrait of
George Washington in July. What a collector's item. On the back of
the painting it lists his batting average from the French and
Indian Wars all the way through the American Revolution.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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