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Jewish World Review April 8, 2005 / 28 Adar II, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings began treatment for lung
cancer Tuesday. He quit smoking but then started again after the
World Trade Center attack. The tobacco companies just want you to
know that whatever happens, it was Osama bin Laden's fault.
Colin Powell was selected Tuesday to drive the pace car for
the Indianapolis 500 on Memorial Day. He will drive a Corvette
that can reach two hundred miles an hour. No wonder nobody
believed him when he said the war wasn't about the oil.
Barry Bonds drew a thunderous standing ovation from San
Francisco Giants fans on Opening Day. He may face perjury charges
after a mistress testified against him. After breaking Willie
Mays's record last year he's about to tie Willie Clinton.
Donald Trump's casino subsidiary Trump Hotels and Resorts
won court approval Tuesday to emerge from bankruptcy protection.
You don't see his kind of talent these days. Donald Trump is the
only man on earth who owns a casino that lost money.
Johnnie Cochran was given a rousing funeral Wednesday in a
packed cathedral sanctuary in downtown Los Angeles. His work is by
no means finished. Pontius Pilate has been waiting two thousand
years for somebody who can get him a re-trial.
Florida just passed a bill giving state residents the right
to shoot anybody they perceive as a threat. This is insane. The
Second Amendment was written to allow states to raise a militia,
it was never intended to apply to traffic incidents.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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