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Jewish World Review April 9, 2004 /19 Nisan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Tiger Woods said Tuesday he gets swing tips everywhere he goes from fans who want him to win the Masters. Everyone is concerned about his slump. He looked so bad in his last tournament that he got a get well card from the Internal Revenue Service.

Vanity Fair in May quotes Jacqueline Kennedy complaining to her White House doctor that JFK was a lazy lover. It's her own fault. She could have enjoyed her husband earlier in the day, but she refused to don a blonde wig and wait her turn in the typists pool.

Living History by Hillary Clinton comes out in paperback Friday. The new afterword describes how her hands ached after bookstore appearances. It turns out you use an entirely different set of muscles when you sign books than when you slug husbands.

John Kerry wore a work shirt for a speech in Cincinnati Tuesday. The speech evoked tears. Seeing the sharp crease in the freshly starched work shirt and the polo player on the pocket, everyone watching in the Augusta clubhouse laughed until they cried.

The Los Angeles Times won five Pulitzer prizes on Monday. It was a grand and glorious day for the Socialist revolution. What Californians like about the Los Angeles Times is that it doesn't clutter up your mind with opposing points of view.

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