Jewish World Review April 15, 2003 / 13 Nisan, 5763

Keith Olbermann

Keith Olbermann
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Consumer Reports

Saddam Hussein and the sorcerer's Stone: The secret to Saddam's immortality | Since we need something a touch cheerier, what better than this?

If you're wondering whether or not Saddam Hussein is dead, don't bother. He cannot die. Just ask Jasim Wai, a middle-aged man from Basra who was interviewed by a correspondent for the "San Jose Mercury News."

Jasim explains, "Saddam has the stone. You shoot him, and he doesn't die. The stone? Ah, yes, the stone. His mother made it for him." Others say "It's well-known that Saddam's mother is a magician."

In Umm Qasr, a laborer named Ahmed Ali has the inside story: "The stone makes Saddam Hussein immortal. He had it implanted in his upper arm so you can't kill him. He even had it tested. They stuck the stone in a chicken. Then they shot the chicken, and the chicken lived."

Which Then, of course, begs the question of how they got the stone back out of the chicken.

Anyway, you may laugh about the gullibility of people who believe a dictator is immortal because he has a magical stone implanted above the elbow-a chicken-tested magical stone- but hasn't this all begun to sound familiar? Magical stone conveys immortality. Mom's a witch.

Good grief! It's the plot of the first "Harry Potter" novel.

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The writer hosts MSNBC's “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” The news program, dedicated to all of the day’s top stories, telecasts weeknights, 8-9 p.m. ET. Comment by clicking here.

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