July 7th, 2022


Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published March 8, 2022

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
Vladimir Putin was defied by more Russian anti-war protests despite his threats of jail or internal exile Sunday when a mob of anti-war demonstrators took to the streets in Novosibirsk, the largest city in Siberia. In fairness, what did they have to lose? Where is Putin going to send them, across the street?

Germany sent shoulder-fired missiles to Ukraine Friday, ending seventy-seven years of staying away from all military conflicts. It was like Babe Ruth coming back from the dead and stepping into the batter's box. You never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, or a German why his grandpa is from Argentina.

Vice President Kamala Harris was dispatched to Poland Monday to represent the U.S. government in dealing with the refugee crisis at the Polish-Ukraine border. Some things never change. When Kamala greeted the Ukrainian refugees arriving at the border, out of habit, she welcomed them to Texas.

Black Lives Matter advocates complained Sunday that black lives are now being ignored over the concern for Ukrainian lives, so I nominate myself for a Nobel Peace Prize for my new joke that would annoy Putin while embracing BLM. How do you make a Black Russian? Get PBS to remake Dr. Zhivago.

New York protestors demonstrated in Times Square Saturday demanding that the White House establish a no-fly zone over Ukraine. But it's to no avail. U.S. policy in the war has been crystal clear since President Biden stood before Congress last Tuesday and declared the State of the Onion is Round.

President Biden was ripped by war hawks and Ukrainian Americans last weekend for not doing enough to help Ukraine. So far, a million and a half Ukrainians have fled the country, but not ONE of them has fallen to his death from the wheel-well of a 747. So, Joe Biden not helping HAS its positives.

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The Russian Army general who shelled and captured Ukraine's largest nuclear power plant last week was interviewed after the battle by a reporter on Russian television Friday. On one hand the general was friendly, but on the other hand he was unapologetic. On the third hand he had eight fingers.

Ukraine's army recognized and welcomed an International Brigade of fighters and mercenaries from all over the world who have arrived in their country to fight against the Russians alongside them. This war could turn around very soon. Alec Baldwin has just been deployed to Ukraine with a prop gun.

Vladimir Putin's top foreign policy advisor in the Kremlin broke ranks Friday and told reporters the Ukraine invasion never made sense, turning Russia into a boycotted pariah. That means someone is going to go down for this debacle. I'd like to be the first to say that Vladimir Putin didn't hang himself.

Vladimir Putin said Saturday the Western sanctions against Russia are akin to a declaration of war and warned that any attempt to establish a no-fly zone will result in a catastrophe. As of right now, the world has one hope. An old photograph emerges of Vladimir Putin in Blackface, and he gets canceled.

The White House refused a wartime increase in U.S. oil saying it's to protect the earth's air, so we will import our oil from other countries. It's like the old AA meetings, when half the room was Smoking and the other half was No Smoking. Neither side of the room could see the speaker after fifteen minutes.