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Jewish World Review March 24, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The White House infuriated several news organizations Friday by imposing a media blackout on the incoming migrants pouring in from Central America. The human traffic on our southern border is so embarrassing to the administration's image. Mexico just installed stairs to keep Biden out.
•President Biden asked for staff resignations over past pot use even though Joe himself was VP under a cokehead, Joe's VP was a pothead, and Joe's son Hunter a crack head. The good news is, Hunter has joined a 12-step program. He's already successfully completed 9 steps more than his Dad.
• President Biden performed an embarrassing sight gag while trying to board Air Force One on Friday. He slipped twice then fell on his face while going up the stairs. The good news is, fans of NBC's Saturday Night Live are this close to enjoying the return of Weekend Update with Chevy Chase.
• The Treasury Department this week began disbursing the Covid relief payments to Americans by U.S. mail or by direct deposit. As Biden signed the bill, he promised that every man and woman would get a check for fourteen hundred dollars. And just like that, there were only two genders again.
• Vladimir Putin openly mocked President Biden's mental health Friday after Biden called him a killer, as Chinese officials met with U.S. envoys in Alaska and used up their TV time by lecturing us on racism in the U.S. It gets worse. Afghanistan just offered to send peacekeepers to Miami Beach.
• President Biden's approval rating continued to sail along smoothly at around sixty percent last week. We'll get to know him better eventually. On Friday Biden said his dog Major will return to live in the While House following a biting incident, although the dog is reportedly still terrified of him.
• Dr. Fauci told the Senate we may have to wear masks into next year and maintain distancing rules in testimony last week. The country has other ideas. In a promising sign that things really are close to getting back to normal in America, we've had two mass shootings in the past week alone.
• Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti appeared on CBS Face the Nation Sunday and announced that kindergarten and first graders will return to schools soon. It's hotly debated. Immunologists will only agree that keeping the schools closed in Los Angeles helps to prevent the spread of socialism.
• The Hollywood Reporter Monday paid special tribute to William Shatner upon the occasion of his 90th birthday. He's greatly loved. Early that morning Shatner's Millennial girlfriend woke up, reached over, ran her fingers through his hair, then decided to pick up the phone and give him a call. • The Hollywood Reporter announced the Academy Awards will be held with a live audience Sunday night, April 25th. All the nominated stars are expected to attend. It is awards season in Hollywood and Governor Andrew Cuomo has been nominated for another television Emmy, for Eight Is Enough. • The Washington Post says Biden's low-key presidency shifts the media focus on Washington politics from the White House to Congress. It's sadly true. I'm not saying Chuck Schumer, Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi annoy me, but I would unplug their life support to recharge my phone. • Nancy Pelosi defended the rush of illegal migrants flooding the border in a House speech on Friday. She called the invading arrivals the true and legitimate heirs of America's Founders. If they are, they're going to find casinos a lot harder to knock over than a bunch of teepees in their way. • Buckingham Palace will hire a diversity chief to work in the Palace. This Royal Family is the result of a German Protestant marrying a Scottish Protestant to rule English Protestants and collect rent from the Irish Catholics. It's no Biden cabinet, but you have to give white people credit for trying.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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