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Jewish World Review March 22, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The White House announced the U.S. will share four million doses of the Astra Zenica vaccine with Canada and Mexico on Thursday. The goalpost was quickly moved. The vaccine's effectiveness was questioned by Dr. Fauci after one in forty million recipients got hit by a bus after the second shot.
• President Biden called Vladimir Putin a killer, causing Putin to wish Biden good health. The cancel culture has flipped the script. I saw the Biden-Putin exchange on TV and it was embarrassing to watch the Leader of the Free World cozying up to a dictator, but Putin was just trying to be polite.
• President Biden caused tensions with Russia Thursday when he called Putin a killer. Putin's experience in that department is helping to accelerate Russia's do-it-yourself Covid vaccination program. Every Russian citizen will be given his own vaccine tipped umbrella at the end of the month.
• Donald Trump urged Americans to decide for themselves on vaccinations but he vouched that it's safe and effective. I'm like any Baby Boomer who lived to tell the tale. Due to all the cocaine, pot and alcohol I once enjoyed, I have no idea if the second vaccine shot I just got has any side effects.
• A CNN pundit referred to Trump supporters as white Republican men and Southern Crackers last week. Just hold on, for the education of the Cancel Culture Commissars in N.Y., D.C. and L.A., it so happens Southern Episcopalians, Methodists and Presbyterians are NOT Crackers. We are Wafers.
• The New York Times depicted a white sex addict who said he shot up an Asian massage parlor to try to eliminate his sexual temptation as an Asian hate crime. Asians take revenge when they're driving. They drive like the wind, always demanding the right of way in traffic, even if they are Wong.
• The National Safety Council reports the shutdown caused fewer cars on the road this past year but also a huge rise in car crash deaths due to reckless driving. Last week my head got whacked very hard in a car wreck. So don't tell me I'm not qualified to run against Biden for president in 2024. • The White House announced President Biden will hold his first press conference since he took office after nine weeks in office. It'll air on all TV networks. Biden's press conference will be sponsored by Taco Bell, the first to urge everyone who's hungry to Make a Run for the Border. • CBS This Morning said Prince Harry has had conversations with Prince William and Prince Charles since that Oprah disaster. Remember, Harry's American soon-to-be-born daughter will be eligible to run for president in thirty-six years. Way to play the long game, King George III! • Queen Elizabeth's husband Prince Philip astonished Britain last week by being released from the London hospital in good health after being seriously ill for over a month. He's ninety-nine years old. All I can say is that Prince Philip must have Jeffrey Epstein-level dirt on the Grim Reaper. • President Biden conducted foreign policy this week amid public anxiety over our relationship with China. Members of China's ruling cabinet met in Alaska with officials from the Biden Administration Thursday. Fox News reported the Chinese were giving Biden his performance review. • The White House acknowledged Tuesday that the Covid relief checks being sent to Americans this week could cause a temporary spike in inflation. This week auto repair customers all over the country are hearing the exact same words from their mechanics. That'll be fourteen hundred dollars. • The Treasury began depositing the fourteen-hundred-dollar stimulus money to Americans this week, giving a friend of mine in rural Oklahoma a chance to teach Hollywood hot shots a lesson. He used his stimulus money to buy chickens. So he got his money for nothing and his chicks for free. • The Times of India said India is following Western falling birth rates, revealing that births are down to two babies per woman. The good news is, last week a baby in India was born mid-air onboard an airline flight across the country. At least it wasn't born on the roof of one of those trains. • Governor Cuomo and Governor Newsom refused to resign despite sex scandals, Covid deaths and recall petitions. My father taught me if one person calls you a horse's ass, pay it no attention. However if your party, the opposition party and the media call you a horse's ass, get yourself a saddle.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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