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Jewish World Review March 17, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
L.A. allowed its restaurants to open indoors to one-quarter capacity Monday. I headed straight for the Polo Lounge. They pour a Crème Anglaise on top of the strawberries that is so white and so rich that House Democrats just doubled the tax on it and demanded that it apologize for its privilege.
• Coca-Cola announced they will only hire law firms and contractors who are racially diverse in composition. Great, I am so diverse in my way. If Coke wants a comic for its shareholders banquet, I am 25% Essex, 25% Sussex, 25% Middlesex, 25% Wessex and ever since the shutdown, 100% Nosex.
• The White House refused to say when President Biden will hold his first press conference amid questions of his competence. Last Thursday, the president told us that on July Fourth we might be able to enjoy a gathering with our family and friends. Just don't tell Joe that his is an intervention.
• President Biden said by July Fourth we'll all be celebrating freedom from Covid. Freedom is the ability to say or do anything you want. As long as it's approved by the cops, federal authorities, your boss, your parents, your spouse, Dr. Fauci, the Cancel Culture and the Facebook racism monitor.
• President Biden sent the Senate his three nominees for Board of Governors of the U.S. Postal Service. The three nominees to head the Post Office arrived in the House instead of the Senate, then they were dropped off in the wrong hearing room, and six days late. They were confirmed on the spot.
• Portland, Seattle and Hollywood were struck by new Antifa riots spreading mayhem this past weekend. The rank and file are pretty gullible. Yesterday on Hollywood Boulevard, I questioned a young protestor who was wearing a Che Guevera T-shirt and she couldn't name three of his songs.
• Governor Gavin Newsom faces a likely recall election as the number of signatures calling for his recall nears two million with a million and a half needed. He's blaming white supremacists. That's hilarious because the Covid restrictions that he imposed were written by Hitler, in Mein Cough.
• The New York Daily News reports that O.J. Simpson received his second Covid vaccination shot last weekend and is pronounced good to go. His murder trial made history. It took a two-year court fight and civil judgment to make Fred Goldman the only Jew ever to be awarded the Heisman Trophy.
• Governor Andrew Cuomo was hit by a seventh female accuser Friday, prompting new calls for his resignation. Many people have been disgusted by his behavior but a few are impressed. The good news is, Cuomo was just offered work making bootleg cartoons as the new voice of Pepe LePew. • The White House came under more pressure Sunday to acknowledge the illegal immigration crisis on the southern border. When they arrive, these people need to be told the truth. For starters, our border with Mexico ought to be papered with literature saying how much nicer life is in Canada. • KTLA reports half of L.A. parents don't plan to send their kids right back to school in a dispute over curriculum. One school prepares kids for the entertainment industry. At Hollywood High, they teach kids that sex is one of the most wonderful, happy and fulfilling experiences that money can buy. • The London Daily Mail released public opinion polls Friday revealing that the huge majority of Britons did not like Meghan slamming the Royal Family. Now it's time to pay. Hillary Clinton just got a call from the Queen saying that Meghan has information that could lead to Hillary's arrest.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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