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Jewish World Review March 15, 2021 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Meghan was ripped by London tabloids Thursday for taking Harry away and breaking up the Royal Family. It's safe to say she embraces change. Three years ago, Meghan was sixth lead on a cable TV drama, then she married Harry and became Duchess of Sussex, and today she's Woko Ono.
• Oprah Winfrey's interview with Harry and Meghan outside their L.A. estate had twenty million viewers in the U.S. alone, not to mention England. The huge TV viewership should have come as no surprise. People are fascinated when they see a car crash, even when they know it's a month away.
• The Pentagon announced Monday it will now pay for the medical expenses of any U.S. soldier who wants to undergo gender reassignment surgery. That's just the start. Next, Hollywood plans to make a World War II movie about a combat hero who's transgender called Changing Ryan's Privates.
• Matthew McConaghey confirmed that he's interested in running for Governor of Texas. He's not the only movie star who's in career transition. Pepe LePew will not be in Space Jam Two, because he's too busy fighting six hundred thirty-five sexual harassment lawsuits dating back to 1947.
• New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's sixth accuser Thursday upped the pressure to a sexual assault and groping charge against him. He's still in office. So, according to the Rules of the New Normal, we can drop a cartoon skirt-chasing skunk but not a governor who's a cartoonish skirt-chasing skunk.
• Walt Disney canceled Dumbo, the Aristocats and Peter Pan on the Disney Channel following woke complaints. Now they're after Universal to pull the shark movie Jaws. Lately it's been one cancellation after other for the Average White, so don't expect any breaks it if you're the Great White. • The View panelist Whoopi Goldberg became the first card-carrying liberal in good standing Tuesday to charge that the cancel culture's gone too far. After last week's casualties, you can buy Mein Kampf on Amazon but you can't buy six Dr. Seuss books. Horton Hears the Horst Wessel Song. • President Biden spoke to the nation on the pandemic's first anniversary on Thursday. Lately the politicians in Washington forget they're addressing free-born Americans. Joe Biden announced that we may be allowed to gather on July 4th in small groups, or in large groups if we just ignore him. • President Biden addressed the nation Thursday to mark the one-year anniversary of the Covid pandemic declaration. He can be awkward and painful to watch. I think that Joe's next televised speech will go a lot more smoothly if he just turns the Teleprompter around and lets us read it instead. • The Pentagon announced Thursday it will maintain a few thousand National Guard troops in Washington D.C. to protect the U.S. Capitol. This has gotten way out of hand. The fence at the U.S. Capitol is so high that average citizens are hiring Mexican coyotes to take them to their Congressmen. • Mexico's President Obredor blamed the Biden Administration Thursday for inviting the flood of Central Americans traveling in caravans through Mexico to the U.S. Last week, the Border Patrol counted over one thousand migrants in one caravan, and what a tribute to the Caravan's tires. • Joe Biden forgot his Pentagon chief's name while introducing him Monday, prompting much mirth. So as I was writing a joke on Biden's absent-mindedness, I forgot that my bathtub water was overflowing. As a kid, I never dreamed I'd grow up to be a complete idiot, but here I am, killing it.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2020, Argus Hamilton |
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