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Jewish World Review March 23, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo ruled to keep Manhattan restaurants open for delivery orders to residents and businesses. It's vital to the city's daily life. I'll admit I'm no New Yorker, and thus not an expert on the matter, but from what I've seen, COVID-19 is the worst Chinese takeout EVER.
• The London Daily Mail reported a medical breakthrough in France Tuesday when French doctors announced testing results showing that a long-used malaria drug kills COVID-19. You can't make it up. A pill that kills the Chinese Virus is also the pill that keep you from turning yellow.
• NIH Director Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared on cable news shows to praise President Trump's handling of the crisis. The danger is still very real. I don't want to say the mainstream media is panicking but CNN just ordered its reporters and news anchors to hate President Trump from home.
• National Institute of Health Director Dr. Anthony Fauci urged people to observe protocol greeting each other in public. These guidelines play right into the Chinese plan to kill us all. First they tell us to cough into our elbows and not our hands, then they tell us not to shake hands and touch elbows.
• Los Angeles residents were stunned by the sacrifices demanded of them by Governor Newsom starting with his stay-at-home order. And it's open-ended. Today couples in Beverly Hills are going over their mansion's blueprints to decide in which room they want to vacation this summer.
• The London Daily Mail reported Thursday that Russia had its first COVID-19 death Thursday after being relatively untouched this winter. The death of the corona virus victim was a typically Russian drama. After three days of home quarantine, a father of a family strangled his mother-in-law.
• ISIS issued an announcement telling its terrorists to avoid Europe due to the risk of catching Corona Virus. It's really putting a crimp in the style of the terrorists. This week an ISIS suicide bomber killed himself and seventy-eight other family members when he decided to work from home.
• Prince Charles recently spoke to British farmers and repeated his opposition to the growing of what he calls Frankenfood. I don't believe all the claims purporting the harmful health effects of genetically modified food. Last night I ate a perfectly delicious leg of salmon, and I feel just fine today.
• Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that Canada will be closing its borders to protect their people, their businesses and their jobs. It's humiliating. Just three weeks ago the United States was the world's number one economic superpower and today we're Canada's Mexicans.
• Media Watch noted that cable news channels were feverish as CNN accused Fox News of negligent homicide in its soft virus reporting. CNN and MSNBC are labeling the crisis Trump's Katrina or Trump's Chernobyl. The solution to this hysteria is to quarantine the media for two weeks.
• President Trump was slammed by CNN Wednesday for not providing authoritative leadership in the war on the virus. For three years the media called him Hitler, and now suddenly he's not being Hitler enough. The media can never quite agree on just how much is the right amount of Hitler.
• The Centers for Disease Controls urged Americans to stay at home from work if they feel the slightest bit sick to keep from spreading the virus, and whenever possible, to simply work from home. My cleaning lady is working from home today. She'll be texting me instructions on what to do.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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