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Jewish World Review March 17, 2020 Rogue Report By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti issued an order that all bars and restaurants must be closed in Los Angeles. It's easier across the country. New York's governor announced the state will allow audience events of less than five hundred people, so Joe Biden rallies will still be permitted.
• President Trump's crisis challenge is a textbook example of how comedy writes itself. Trump was elected largely on his attacks on the unfair trade practices of China and illegal immigration from Mexico. So naturally we're being attacked by a virus from China that was named by the Mexicans.
• The L.A. Times reports public precautions against COVID 19 are posing challenges to the law enforcement community. It's increasingly hard to identify criminals. Last night a 7-Eleven was robbed in the San Fernando Valley and the clerk and the criminal were wearing the same mask.
• Bernie Sanders positioned himself shrewdly on the day's hottest issue. He said a twelve-roll pack of toilet paper is a basic human right. Bernie said for too long in America it's been three-ply for the billionaires, two-ply for the working class, and one-ply for the poor and-or Motel 6 guests.
• The National Hockey League suspended the season, following the NBA suspending its season, the Masters canceling and MLB moving the season back. This is the PERFECT time for Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David to create another TV show about nothing. They can call it ESPN.
• The European Union's reaction to Trump's travel ban to the U.S. was surprisingly muffled last week as leaders of all the EU nations faced their own COVID crises. However it raised eyebrows all over Europe when Germany shut down their border with Poland. Now, THAT'S a switch.
• The CDC urged American office workers Friday to work at home if they can. This won't last long. After a week of confinement, Americans will be so sick of cable news they'll want to see that Liberty Mutual emu smothered by a My Pillow in the hands of Flo from Progressive Insurance.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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