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Jewish World Review March 14, 2016 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama in his press conference with Prime Minister Trudeau denied any blame for the rise of Donald Trump. That’s very true. At the time Donald Trump began his meteoric rise in the polls last year, President Obama was too busy too busy denying any blame for the rise of ISIS.
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Hillary Clinton in the debate focusing on Hispanic issues was accused by Hispanic moderators of lying about Benghazi and her e-mails. They also asked if she’ll drop out of the race if indicted. By the end of the evening, it took every ounce of her Methodism to oppose the idea of the border wall
•
North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un rattled the saber again Wednesday with a war-threatening bulletin from his headquarters in Pyongyang. Kim ordered the North Korean military to have its nuclear weapons ready to use at any time. It looks like he thinks Trump could get the nomination, too.
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Donald Trump told his post-primary press conference Tuesday that he wasn’t happy about the president of Mexico comparing him to Hitler. A reporter had asked him for his reaction. It ruined an otherwise perfect night for Trump in which he won Michigan, won Mississippi, and seized Austria.
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Donald Trump topped the polls after winning the GOP primaries in Michigan and Mississippi Tuesday. That was just the opening act. Later that night, Donald Trump made history by becoming the first presidential candidate to sell steaks, wine and bottled water at a post-victory press conference.
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Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal complained Sunday that President Obama created Donald Trump. It was pure alchemy. President Obama went down into the White House laboratory one night and sprinkled Cheetos dust on a spoiled toddler with Tourette’s Syndrome, and a star was born.
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GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz campaigned in Florida Thursday where he urged the GOP supporters of Marco Rubio and John Kasich to join his crusade to stop Trump. Ted Cruz keeps declaring victory after finishing second. He’d make a great president of France, they never lost either.
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The Weather Channel reported Tuesday that the continental U.S. enjoyed the warmest winter in recorded history this year. However, it’s still blustery in the Midwest. This past week, Chicago was so windy that drive-by shooters hired caddies to advise them on how to compensate for the wind speed.
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NASA’s Scott Kelly discussed adjusting to life on earth after a year in space Thursday. At first he was in shock. When he was told that Madonna’s on tour, a Clinton was running for president and police were looking at O.J.’s knife, his first instinct was to call his broker and tell him to buy Apple.
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NBC News quoted Los Angeles police sources Wednesday who say that the knife found buried at O.J. Simpson’s former Rockingham estate wasn’t the knife used to kill his wife. That clears everything up. The knife they found was just like any other regular knife you would bury in your yard.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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