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Jewish World Review March 23, 2015 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• President Obama reportedly chose Chicago as the future site of his presidential library. The city can't help but love him. Obama was awarded the Order of the Cubs last week when he completed an unassisted triple play in becoming the only president ever to lose the House, the Senate and the Knesset.
• Mitt Romney said Friday that the biggest mistake he made in the last presidential election was not connectiong with minorities. His wealth was never an issue. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but Americans have always believed that with enough money, you can have a key made.
• Starbucks made news by having their barristas write racially charged messages on their coffee cups in order to stimulate a national discussion on race. The campaign wound up highlighting our differences. Thanks to Starbucks, black people can't believe how much white people will pay for coffee.
• Russian president Vladimir Putin flew to Crimea Thursday where he gave a speech to thousands of cheering ethnic Russians on the one-year anniversary of his seizure of Crimea from Ukraine. In his speech he claimed sovereignty over the rest of Ukraine as well. Russia's national bird is a hand gesture.
• White House advisor General David Petraeus warned that the presence of Iranian troops in Iraq is the top threat. It contradicted the president's peace outreach. Republicans will admit that the war in Iraq turned out disastrously but they believe in their hearts that if at first you don's succeed, try try Iran.
• Aero Mobil on Tuesday announced plans to have a flying car on the market in two years. They will be lethal in L.A. The only reason Harrison Ford didn't land on the foursome that saved him is because the club bans smartphones on the golf course so the foursome was able to look up and scatter.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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