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Jewish World Review March 17, 2015 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Psychology Today reported that if you praise your child too much it leads to narcissism. Narcissism is a disease which affects one out of every one person in Los Angeles. We'd hold a telethon to try to find a cure but we would have to book millions of people who want one song each.
• President Obama will host Ireland's prime minister Enda Kenny at the White House today to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. This is an annual observance that everyone enjoys. The president is half Irish and half Kenyan, which means he could win a drinking marathon in two hours and six minutes.
• The House Committee investigating the terror attack on Benghazi prepared to subpoena Hillary Clinton. The lawmakers want to see her e-mails revealing her actions the night of the attack. We're maybe a month away from Hillary swearing she did not have textual relations with the rescue operation.
• Hillary Clinton claimed Tuesday that her private e-mail was used for personal communications between her and Bill. Only a week earlier Bill's staff told the Wall Street Journal he only sent two e-mails his entire life, and that's when he was president. He was inviting two interns to the Senior Porn.
• President Obama was ripped for his spending Monday when his vacation to Hawaii was reported to have cost taxpayers three million dollars. It's an old tradition. Two centuries ago, President Thomas Jefferson purchased New Orleans so he could enjoy an occasional weekend getaway from the Puritans.
• Fox News announced Friday it has hired the U.S. Navy SEAL who killed Osama bin Laden, Robert O'Neill, as a special contributor. His work is already part of the culture. To this day the Osama bin Laden is the most-ordered drink in the Wall Street bars of lower Manhattan, it's two shots and a splash.
• Prince Charles will mark the eight hundredth anniversary of the signing of the Magna Carta in Washington this week to underscore the U.S.-U.K. Special Relationship. It's a love between cousins. We've only engaged in global conquest to provide a healthy alternative to our proclivity for cockfighting.
• Prince Charles will visit George Washington's Mount Vernon home Tuesday and pay tribute to America founding father. The day Washington miraculously trapped Cornwallis on the Yorktown peninsula, while the French fleet just happened to be passing by, fleeing from a hurricane in the Caribbean, resulted in Britain's loss of the United States. It's celebrated in Britain as Thanksgiving Day.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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