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Jewish World Review March 22, 2013 / 11 Nissan, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Cyprus agreed to seize ten percent of the money in all Cyprus bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy. It's an outrageous seizure of private property. The White House issued a statement immediately saying that President Obama is always looking for fresh new ideas.
Prince William told an interviewer Monday he hopes the baby is a girl, however Kate Middleton wants a boy. When this future monarch is born the jubilation will be felt worldwide. One of the little lies that Protestants tell the world is that we don't have a pope.
The U.S. Senate tried to save the Senate barber shop from being eliminated in the new budget bill Tuesday. Critics note the Senate barber shop lost three hundred and fifty thousand dollars last year. That makes it the most profitable agency in the U.S. government.
President Obama filled out his bracket card for the NCAA basketball tournament this week. ESPN had to analyze his selections by four o'clock. Whenever the president is picking winners and losers, investors have to scamper to sell before the market closes.
President Obama's limo wouldn't start at Ben Gurion Airport Wednesday after they rolled it off the U.S. transport plane. It turns out the Israeli ground crew filled it up with the wrong type of fuel and it wouldn't start. They filled the tank with water instead of wine.
President Obama said Wednesday he's waiting to see evidence of chemical weapons used in Syria. He said that Syria's stockpile of weapons of mass destruction has him worried. We no sooner have Dick Cheney off the stage and the orchestra plays him back on.
Russia's Vladimir Putin halted the Cyprus bank account seizure which Germany had demanded to secure a loan. This is great. The nice thing about Russia squaring off against Germany is that it puts junior varsity teams like Iran and North Korea in the proper context.
USA Today said Hollywood studios are releasing three movies this summer in which terrorists attack the White House. The attackers are North Koreans, domestic terrorists and a mole. It turns out the real reason they canceled the Easter Egg roll and White House tours is that they've rented the building to a movie company for ten thousand dollars a day.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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