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Jewish World Review March 20, 2013 / 9 Nissan, 5773 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Tiger Woods confirmed Tuesday he and Olympic skier Lindsay Vonn are dating. The two have a mutual interest in skiing. Lindsay Vonn is a seven-time world champion, and three Thanksgivings ago, Tiger Woods set a new world's record in the Men's Downhill.
The NFL owners began meeting Monday and discussed putting a team in Los Angeles and player concussions. Head trauma is no problem for an L.A. team. It's important for the stadium to blend into the landscape and for the players to blend into the local population.
Lindsay Lohan was back in court in Beverly Hills to face parole violation charges this week. It's going to be difficult for her to win. Lindsay won't be able to take the witness stand and testify because she has been in court so many times she's developed Bible elbow.
Senator Susan Collins hosted a lunch in the U.S. Capitol for President Obama and GOP senators Thursday but President Obama didn't eat any of the food they offered him because his food taster wasn't there. This sheds light on the problem. They're not likely to reach a deal on the budget until he's convinced the Republicans aren't out to poison him.
Hillary Clinton reversed herself and came out in favor of same-sex marriage Monday night. Her endorsement could scare gays out of getting married. They're liable to think if they marry they can't get divorced no matter how great the degree of public humiliation.
Athens midfielder Giorgios Katidis was banned from Greek soccer for life Sunday. He gave the Nazi salute after scoring a goal. Greeks are so angry that German bankers imposed austerity measures on them, the kid's lucky they didn't shoot him as a collaborator.
Cyprus had bank depositor panic Monday after Cyprus agreed to allow the Eurozone to seize ten percent of all bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy. The people are downcast. The government explained to Cypriots that their money is being represented by the William Morris Agency which charges everyone ten percent, and now they'll never find work.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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