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Jewish World Review March 6, 2012/ 12 Adar, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke told a panel of Democrats that she can't afford all the contraception she needs for all the sex she has. She's demanding that Obama Care pay for her sex expenses. She is still angry that Clinton Care didn't pay for the dry cleaning.
President Obama claimed on ESPN Friday that he knew that New York Knick Jeremy Lin was a future star months before his NBA breakout. He's quite the seer. He even predicted Solyndra would go bankrupt six months before he decided to give them money.
Mitt Romney leaped to a sixteen-point lead over Rick Santorum in Friday's national Gallup Poll. However, he needs to be more sensitive about high gasoline prices. Last night Mitt Romney said although he doesn't drive, he has friends who own oil companies.
Japanese researchers invented a Speech Jammer that shuts off the brain's speaking mechanism by firing a speaker's words back at him one-fifth of a second later. Someone trying to speak can only make nonsense sounds. If somebody hadn't used one of these on Rick Perry in the first debate he'd be the frontrunner today.
President Obama compared himself to Gandhi and Nelson Mandela in the struggle to bring about change Thursday. The comparison is flawed. They spent years in jail before taking political power, while politicians from Chicago do it the other way around.
Nation of Islam's Louis Farrakhan urged black people to stop eating at McDonald's. He thinks the French fries are designed to kill them. He could urge them to order the apple slices instead, but he's an honorable comedian who'd never do Michelle Obama's act.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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