Jewish World Review March 19, 2007 / 29 Adar, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum announced that a new location will open in Washington D.C. It will present likenesses of lawmakers and presidents at work. The idea is to show that you can put a wax dummy in those chairs and the government will run better.
Bill Clinton said Tuesday the New York Times has been unfair to Hillary and too soft on Barack Obama. Hillary can see it coming. For the second time in her life she is going to be pushed to the background by America's first black president.
Athens food inspectors seized two hundred pounds of bad meat from a restaurant where Russian President Vladimir Putin was about to eat Friday. What a close call. He could have died from food poisoning, or as they call it in Russia, natural causes.
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse says forty-nine percent of college students in America binge drink or use illegal drugs. Don't miss the ceremony. These schools are going into the record books for the world's highest cover charge.
The USS San Juan submarine frightened the Pentagon Tuesday when it failed to check in and was believed lost at sea in war training exercises. However, it was just fine. It's a Los Angeles-class submarine so it goes in and out of consciousness.
Al-Qaeda mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed told a military panel Wednesday he planned the World Trade Center attacks. He said he also planned an attack on the Los Angeles Library. They called it off when they realized it wouldn't kill anybody.
Hillary Clinton said Wednesday she would leave some troops behind in Iraq if elected president. She's building up her credentials as a commander-in-chief and a defender of freedom. Hillary's next book is going to be called It Burns a Village.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton