|
|
|
Jewish World Review March 29, 2005 / 18 Adar II, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Chess legend Bobby Fischer had a press conference in Iceland
Friday and called the United States and Britain war criminals. He
then went off on an anti-Semitic tirade. It must have been the
heavy rains in Europe, the Hitlers are blooming early this spring.
Oprah Winfrey decided Thursday to live in a Chicago slum for
a month and try to survive. It was her agent's idea. They've seen
the ratings for the Terri Schiavo coverage and they think people
won't watch unless you could die during every commercial break.
Colombian police discovered a homemade submarine Friday that
could transport ten tons of cocaine to America. What a find. They
got tipped off when they heard about a new show on the Discovery
Channel called the Undersea World of Tom Sizemore.
Hillary Clinton appeared at an Austin fundraiser Tuesday.
She told them that her husband is feeling much better. The Comedy
Store in Hollywood has converted an upstairs lounge into a chapel
where comedians pray nightly for his full recovery.
Democrats in their radio address Saturday slammed the
president's plan for Social Security reform. They said it would
rob Americans of their retirement security. Franklin Delano
Roosevelt promised every senior enough money to take the bus to
Atlantic City.
Don Rumsfeld withstood withering criticism from the press
Wednesday over his approved techniques for prisoner interrogation.
He said he approves the use of dietary changes, interrupted sleep
and stress positions. Yoga mellows everybody out.
The Iraqi National Assembly is slated to convene for the
first time Tuesday. The agenda on the first day calls for
everybody to remain in session until midnight and then vote
themselves a pay raise. Who says Arabs don't get the hang of democracy?
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
Columnists
Toons
Lifestyles | |||||||||||
