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Jewish World Review March 28, 2005 / 17 Adar II, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The CIA is blamed for faulty intelligence about Iraq in a
classified report coming out Thursday. It is filled with
revelations of agency incompetence. Every year in the office pool,
George Tenet picked Oxford to win the NCAA basketball tournament.
Martha Stewart returned to her magazine Martha Stewart
Living Friday. In her first column she gave a recipe for a
thousand-dollar omelet. It's made from six eggs, one lobster, ten
ounces of caviar and two gallons of Chevron Unleaded Supreme.
CBS News reported Tuesday the price of gasoline hit three
dollars per gallon in Beverly Hills and Malibu. It's starting to
have a ripple effect. Actresses have begun hanging around the
glass booth at the Chevron station around closing time.
Movie star Tom Sizemore got jail time Thursday for violating
probation. He did cocaine and beat up Heidi Fleiss then broke down
crying in court and screamed at reporters after his conviction.
It's what we call in Los Angeles being a human being.
The Globe tabloid Friday had headlines declaring Bill
Clinton has just months to live. That's absolutely ridiculous. No
one wants to say he's himself again, but he just signed to endorse
a Wall Street investment firm and it wasn't Fidelity.
The Christian Science Monitor reports Sunni groups that
boycotted the Iraqi elections now want to join the government.
Iraq is going from dictatorship to elected theocracy to
Jeffersonian democracy. We are like two ships passing in the night.
Barry Bonds wouldn't comment on steroid use Tuesday and
threatened to retire over a knee injury. He was sent to a local
medical specialist. There's a lab in Scottsdale that specializes
in freezing great hitters until their problems blow over.
Former CEO Bernard Ebbers was convicted of fraud after
presiding over the fall of WorldCom. The telecommunications
revolution was too much for him. He came of age back in the day
when a simple handshake was all it took to destroy a company.
Prince Charles asked his sons to stand up at his wedding
ceremony next week in some municipal town hall in Windsor. There
is no church and no pageantry. If this wedding were any more
downscale it would be conducted by an Elvis impersonator.
Insider host Pat O'Brien checked into alcohol rehab Monday.
He left his wife to run off with a married heiress after
accusations against him of groping women at work. Pat O'Brien is
very popular in Hollywood where he is regarded as Every Man.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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