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Jewish World Review March 25, 2005 / 14 Adar II, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Barry Bonds stood on crutches Tuesday and threatened to
retire after his mistress told a grand jury he used steroids. He
was in obvious pain. He just had a knee injury that might have
been avoided if his wife didn't read the Chronicle every day.
Robert Blake thanked Barbara Walters for saving his life
with their interview in county jail. It was played as evidence at
his trial. They had an old tape of him on Carson where he killed
the crowd but they didn't think it would help his case.
Kaiser Permanente said Monday questionnaires can be used to
screen customers most likely to wind up in emergency rooms. This
is diabolical. Americans don't want their medical decisions made
by accountants, they want them decided by Congress.
Howard Dean in Tennessee Wednesday insisted that Democrats
must change their image as a tax-and-spend party. He's right. The
only difference between death and taxes is that Democrats can't
think of a way to make death any worse than it is.
Camilla Parker Bowles renounced any title of Queen and vowed
to serve Prince Charles as his Princess Consort. Britons cannot
contain their joy. When their cousins in America had a serial
adulterer in the top job it tripled the stock market.
Martha Stewart was granted reconsideration of her sentence
Monday. She looks great after losing twenty pounds in federal
prison. For people without enough will power to do the Atkins
Diet, white collar crime could solve the obesity crisis.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Argus Hamilton |
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