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Jewish World Review March 16, 2005 / 5 Adar II, 5765 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Mark McGwire was linked to steroids by FBI sources Saturday.
The drug builds muscle mass but causes men to develop breasts. If
you think it's messed up the home run record, don't ask what it
has done to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
Bill Cosby was sued Thursday by a woman who claims he
sexually assaulted her inside his home. Reaction was swift. The
next day Jack Nicholson threw away his Viagra pills and got his
doctor to prescribe him a great big bowl of Jell-O Pudding.
Hillary Clinton Friday demanded higher decency standards for
children's video games. She's moving to the right pretty fast.
This morning the Weather Channel reported she was last seen
passing Nancy Reagan and heading toward Marie Antoinette.
Condoleezza Rice denied Sunday she has presidential
ambitions. She missed all the warnings about the September 11th
attacks and she made the case that Saddam had weapons of mass
destruction. Her presidential library would overlook everything.
Palestinian terror group Hamas on Friday became a political
party. Hezbollah just became a political party in Syria. They are
the first parties in history to be organized around the principle
that sundown is an international Jewish plot.
McDonald's began having call centers take orders from drive-
through customers Saturday. These jobs will stay in America.
Orders are taken by professional order takers in North Dakota
because what McDonald's does to cows is a mortal sin in India.
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© 2005 Argus Hamilton |