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Jewish World Review March 25, 2004 /3 Nisan, 5764

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | The September 11th Commission grilled current and former officials Wednesday about intelligence failures that led to terror attacks. The witnesses all agreed it wasn't their fault. It looked like a late-night infomercial for a Shrugging to Stay Fit video.

New York Post columnist Cindy Adams reported Tuesday that Osama bin Laden's niece Waffa bin Laden warned her friends in New York to get out of town in the summer before the 9-11 attack. There was a mural of the Twin Towers on her apartment wall. The September 11th Commission isn't holding hearings, it's a Get Smart marathon.

John Kerry found himself unwelcome by residents at Sun Valley this week. The presence of the Secret Service was intrusive. The way John Kerry skis, the only way they could protect him from assassination was to chainsaw every tree in his path.

Egypt unveiled the reconstructed sarcophagus of Pharaoh Ramses Tuesday after much work on the ancient ruler's corpse. Ramses was buried in his pyramid along with his two hundred fifty sons. Whose idea was it to name a condom after this guy?

U.S. Rangers combed the Afghan mountains in Operation Mountain Storm this past week. They came upon one abandoned camp where tribesmen were able to survive on nothing but bread and water. It's something they just saw on Martha Stewart Living.

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