Jewish World Review March 17, 2003 / 13 Adar II, 5763

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Encryption experts work to decipher Kaptur comment

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | U.S. government encyption experts labored through the night to break the code in a statement by U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur, D-OH, purported to be an apology.

Speaking to a VFW post in East Toledo last night Rep. Kaptur said, "You have heard much about my earlier statements on terrorism, and I just wanted you all to know that due to the political nature of what happened with my original statements, if my remarks have hurt anyone, I'm sorry," Miss Kaptur said. "Let me also say to each of you tonight [that] I am one member of Congress who will never make politics of war. It is too deadly serious."

She referred to her March 1 comparion of al-Qaeda members to American revolutionaries: "One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purpose are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown."

The government's chief 'code cracker' said, "We've run last night's statement at the VFW through a Cray supercomputer trying to figure out just what she was saying, and frankly, we're stymied."

The Toledo Blade announced that it was an apology, but the unnamed deciphering expert was less confident. "The syntax of an apology usually consists of an admission of guilt, a rejection of the wrong, and a commitment to avoid such behavior in the future," he said. "We're not seeing those elements here."

Rep. Kaptur concluded her 'apology' by stating how she views America's role in the world: "...the U.S. is becoming more hated to the point it is now viewed as the primary enemy."



JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.

Up

03/14/03: U.S. to Return Statue of Liberty to France
03/13/03: CIA Leaks Again: Shhh! Don't tell bin Laden
03/12/03: "We're damaging these homes and vehicles as a form of political speech"
03/11/03: Bush caves in to Russian and French veto
03/07/03: Speechless: U.N. delegates await translation of Bush remarks
03/06/03: Moseley-Braun Drops Hyphen, Hopes for Sponsor Deal
03/05/03: Bush Admits to Belafonte's 'Possessed of Evil' Charge
03/04/03: Powell continues 'saber rattling' in Pakistan interview
03/03/03: Daschle demands release of top al Qaeda operative
02/28/03: Rather to interview prez on same terms as Saddam
02/27/03: U.S. accepts Saddam's latest proposal
02/26/03: 'Win Without War' releases new talking points
02/25/03: Blix orders Iraq to destroy 'human shields'
02/24/03: Secret U.S. Plan for Cyber-War to Feature Windows XP
02/21/03: Gephardt insists he's really running for President
02/20/03: French President changes name to 'Chiraq'
02/19/03: Chirac offers new EU members 'Freedom of Silence'
02/18/03: Meteorologist Fired for "Positive" Snow Report

© 2003, Scott Ott