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July 7th, 2022

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Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Feb. 1, 2022

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
The AFC Championship between the KC. Chiefs and Cincinnati Bengals along with the NFC Championship between the L.A. Rams and San Francisco 49ers drew huge TV ratings on Sunday. The big news was that Tom Brady is retiring after twenty-two years. He will be replaced by a qualified black woman.

Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer gave a farewell address at the White House Thursday to announce his retirement from the high court this fall. He's a forceful proponent of a fluid U.S. Constitution that changes with the times. Biden said we will miss Breyer, he makes a great ice cream.

Crosby Stills Nash and Young's Neil Young gave Spotify an ultimatum to take his music off the platform or cancel Joe Rogan's podcast and they dropped Young. The angry rock world is mobilizing. Yoko Ono just threatened to release a new album on Spotify if they don't pull Joe Rogan.

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Spotify's stock price stabilized Friday after tumbling over Neil's Young's withdrawal from the Spotify service over Joe Rogan's anti-vax views. Everyone under 30 is saying who's Neil Young and everyone from 30 to 60 is saying, is Neil Young still alive? Everyone over 60 is saying, what's Spotify?

President Biden's insistence that everyone get tested for the Omicron variant produced a backlash from doctors who say the mildness of the variant makes testing superfluous. Today I went to the hospital to get tested to find out if I am sick. Tonight I'm going to the cemetery to find out if I'm dead.

Moderna announced Friday it is beginning clinical trials on a booster vaccine shot targeting the Omicron variant. I'm beginning to suspect this latest variant is an act of revenge on me personally. Back in my college days at OU, I led a panty raid on the Omicron house in the fall of '73.

Disney World made news last week when Minnie Mouse began wearing a pantsuit around the park, so keep an eye out. People are laughing off the assertion that Minnie Mouse's new pantsuit was a nod to Hillary Clinton. Bet you won't be laughing when they find Pluto hanging in his jail cell.

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