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Jewish World Review Feb. 26, 2019 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Chicago police described in detail the fake racist attack staged by Empire star Jussie Smollett last week. It's a hot political topic now. Last night Elizabeth Warren said that two men dressed up in Colonial outfits assaulted her on the street and threw a smallpox-infected blanket over her head.
• The New York Post reports that Anthony Weiner, recently released from his year-and-a-half prison sentence for sexting with a minor, is going into the marijuana business. It's called making amends. Weiner is trying to recover his reputation from being a Congressman by being a pot dealer.
• President Trump addressed the National Governors Conference and reported that the U.S. is making great progress in trade talks with China. They have the high-tech edge. If Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the best we have in Artificial Intelligence, the Chinese have nothing to fear from us.
• President Trump is meeting with North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un for a summit in Hanoi. It's a historic locale. Kim Jung Un opted to take a train from North Korea to Hanoi, rather than risk flying to Hanoi, showing more common sense than John McCain showed at the same age.
• President Trump endured a seventeen-hour flight to Hanoi from Washington. Baby Boomers thought we'd never live to see a Republican president fly to a capitalist Hanoi to try to make peace with a communist North Korea. Jane Fonda doesn't know WHOSE cannon to straddle at this point.
• President Trump congratulated North Korea for suspending all nuclear tests and missile tests since their first summit together last year in Singapore. Since Trump became president, Russia has taken North Korea's place making nuclear missile threats. Thanks to Orange, Red is the New Yellow.
• Russian TV released a map of the United States that included the six targets of Russia's new hyper-sonic nuclear missiles. The Pentagon explained that four of the target sites are no longer operational and Washington D.C. is one of them. Sometimes in my business the jokes write themselves.
• Colorado voters are mulling a measure to try to award all their electoral votes to whoever wins the national vote total. There's a growing mood to simply disregard the U.S. Constitution. U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez plans to introduced a new bill that makes the Electoral College tuition-free.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2018, Argus Hamilton |
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