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Jewish World Review Feb. 20, 2018 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Abraham Lincoln was named our greatest president in a poll of political scientists on President’s Day. They listed Trump dead last. He divided the nation, he incited bitter hatred from Democrats, he raised protective tariffs and made the leading actors of his day want to kill him, and so did Trump.
• The Miami Herald reported that high school students plan a nationwide march out of schools on April 20th to protest gun violence. Talk about great TV. The kids have accidentally scheduled an anti-gun violence march on Hitler’s birthday so the counter-march should really be something to see.
• USA Today reports that scientists at Stanford University created the world’s very first human-sheep hybrid. It’s to harvest human organs for transplants. It’s the first time anyone’s been able to create a human sheep hybrid, although they say men in the Middle East have been trying for centuries.
• George Washington was commemorated on his birthday Monday in speeches and festivities at Mount Vernon. He remains our most popular president. George Washington’s first Inaugural speech was only two minutes long, proving that if a politician isn’t going to lie, it leaves very little else to say.
• British Medical Journal Lancet reported that cryogenically frozen heads can be transplanted onto human donor bodies in three years. This is big news. Let’s watch the fun when Walt Disney wakes up and hears that the president and vice president of the United States are Donald and Mickey.
• President Trump exalted Friday when Mueller’s indictment named only Russian nationals for electoral meddling. Easy does it. Forty-five years of experience have taught presidents that you never approach a bull from the front, a horse from behind or a Special Prosecutor from any direction.
• Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas forecasted American society will soon become weary of people playing the victim card for public attention. However we’ll never grow short of lawyers willing to sue on behalf of the insulted. Just be yourself is the worst advice you can give some people.
• The National Gallery in Washington, D.C., last week hosted Barack Obama for the unveiling of his official presidential portrait. It was a day of appreciation the former president richly deserved. Barack Obama will go down in history as the only Nobel Peace Prize winner to bomb seven countries.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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