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Jewish World Review Feb. 16, 2016 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton debated in Milwaukee Thursday. They repeated two points all night. America is a racist, sexist, inhumane country that poisons its water, jails its minorities and exploits its poor, and that it's wrong to stop illegal immigrants from coming here to enjoy its blessings.
• President Obama spent all weekend playing golf in Palm Springs. No one minded. Presidents all discover they can enjoy playing golf their entire final year in office while secular Republicans argue over who loves Jesus the most and white Democrats argue over who loves black people the most.
• Donald Trump swore to a huge crowd in Louisiana Thursday that he will never swear again onstage. He swore twice in the next ten minutes. Whenever you say you're never again going to do something, you are giving the universe your coordinates so it'll know precisely where to land on you.
• Hillary Clinton gave an interview Friday where she discussed her strong Methodist faith. Her dinner ritual backs that up. When Hillary, Bill and Chelsea dine together at home, they sit down at the dinner table, they join hands, bow their heads, close their eyes, and try to get their stories straight.
• Bernie Sanders stood onstage Thursday and angrily accused Bill Clinton of hitting him below the belt last week while delivering pointed criticism. Bernie's charges drew unexpected applause and cheering. The fact that at his age, Bernie Sanders can feel anything below the belt is impressive.
• PBS anchors Judy Woodruff and Gwen Ifill moderated Thursday's Democratic presidential debate between Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton. They have a niche appeal. He's seventy-four and she's sixty-seven, which is why PBS carried the debate on Antiques Roadshow.
• Donald Trump crushed the GOP field in New Hampshire Tuesday then headed off for South Carolina's primary. Now New York former mayor Mike Bloomberg may run as an Independent. All across this great country, people are realizing that in America even a billionaire can grow up to be president.
• The GOP presidential race moves to South Carolina this week where candidates are bombing TV viewers with issue ads and endorsement ads and attack ads. There are only six GOP candidates left. Last Tuesday Chris Christie dropped out of the race and, as expected, endorsed Bernie Sandwich.
• Barack Obama was in Los Angeles Friday where he taped an interview on the Ellen show and then he addressed an assembly at Los Angeles High School. He wore a blue suit for the Crips and a red tie for the Bloods. He's determined to go eight years without taking any sides in a shooting war.
• Alexandria, Virginia, won a nationwide poll naming it the most romantic city in America this past week. That's mostly because Alexandria is a popular place to watch people in love stroll arm-in arm along the Potomac River walkways. And that's just the members of Congress and their lobbyists.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
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© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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