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Jewish World Review
Feb. 6, 2013/ 26 Shevat, 5773
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Step for Nut Jobs
By
Bernard Goldberg
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Every now and then someone comes up with a really, really good idea. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's worth taking note.
Here's the best one I've heard in a long time. Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, wants to be shot into space. He wants to be the country's first astronut -- oops -- astsronaut.
"I am ready to be the first human to be sent to space by Iranian scientists," he said, according to a report by Reuters.
About a week ago, Iran sent a monkey into space. In 2010, it sent a mouse, a turtle and worms into space. There's a cheap joke here somewhere but taking a stab at it is beneath me.
If this isn't simply more crazy talk from Iran's crazy president he not only would be his country's first human in space, he would also be it's first chucklehead in space.
When Ahmadinejad visited New York a while back the streets were gridlocked what with all the security measures the authorities were taking. But he managed to make all his appointments without being late to even one. How did he do it? They let him drive in the Holocaust Denier Lane.
I promised I wouldn't make any cheap jokes at Mahmoud's expense and I didn't. That was Jon Stewart's cheap joke. I just report the news.
And if he does go up in a rocket he'll need a special interpreter to share his thoughts with the world - someone who can lie in two languages.
Hey, blame that one on Jay Leno.
Finally - and this is both important and really, really serious — my friend and reliable source (who I will call Burt) tells me Ahmadinejad's announcement was greeted with great rejoicing by cheering millions in the streets of Iran — until word went out that he intended to return.
Insert rim shot here — and then re-read the headline above.
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JWR contributor Bernard Goldberg, the television news reporter and author of several bestselling books, among them, Bias, a New York Times number one bestseller about how the media distort the news. He is widely seen as one of the most original writers and thinkers in broadcast journalism. Mr. Goldberg covered stories all over the world for CBS News and has won 10 Emmy awards for excellence in journalism. He now reports for the widely acclaimed HBO broadcast Real Sports.
He is a graduate of Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey and a member of the school's Hall of Distinguished Alumni and proprietor of BernardGoldberg.com.
Previously:
• 01/30/13: Obama and Fox: Here We Go Again
• 01/25/13: CBS News Political Director to Barack Obama: Destroy the GOP
• 01/21/13: Just a Thought . . .
• 01/15/13: Al Gore is No Run of the Mill Hypocrite
• 01/14/13: The High Cost of Obama's America
• 01/08/13: Another Reason Libs Make Me Laugh
• 01/07/13: Al Gore Hates Oil But Loves Oil Money
• 12/31/12: Memo to GOP: Make Obama Own the Mess He's Created
• 12/24/12: GOP In More Trouble Than They Probably Know
• 12/18/12: Taking on Guns Will Be the Easy Part
• 12/17/12: When Obama's Words Mean Nothing
• 12/10/12: Do You Believe in Magic?
• 12/04/12: Obama and the Dolts Deserve Each Other
• 11/27/12: When the Ends Justify the Meanness
• 11/20/12: Our Mesmerizer-in-Chief
• 11/19/12: This Pretty Much Sums It Up . . .
• 11/12/12: Santa Claus and the GOP Civil War
• 11/07/12: Obama Wins . . . and Loses
• 11/01/12: Out on a Limb, Predicting A Big Victory For . . .
• 11/01/12: Should Mitt Talk to Bill?
• 10/30/12: Really Dumb Conservatives . . .
• 10/23/12: Debate #3: How Much Does Foreign Policy Matter If You Can't Find a Job?
• 10/22/12: When Conservatives Are As Dopey as Liberals . . .
• 10/19/12: Journalists' Who Don't Even Try to Hide Their Bias
• 10/17/12: Obama Stopped the Bleeding --- But Was That Enough to Change the Momentum?
• 10/15/12: No Winner in the Debate --- But Maybe a Loser
• 10/08/12: The October Surprise
• 10/04/12: Civil War in the GOP Could Go Nuclear on Nov 7
• 10/01/12: Even If He Wins, Obama Will Lose
• 09/27/12: Obama Picks Up a Crucial Demographic
• 09/26/12: If Obama Thinks He Inherited a Mess Four Years Ago . . .
• 09/24/12: A Good Way to Kill Free Speech
• 08/30/12: Facts I Have Uncovered About the Real Mitt Romney
• 08/23/12: Hope and Change, R.I.P.s
• 08/16/12: Who's Smarter: Joe Biden or Yogi Berra?
• 08/13/12: His Silence Makes Him Complicit
• 08/07/12: Did You Know that Harry Reid Got Rich Pimping Out HOs?
• 08/02/12: Like Birds on a Telephone Wire
• 07/30/12: What Me Worry? YES!
• 07/26/27: The Mystery Continues --- A Tale of Two Polls
• 07/16/27: We've Set a Low Bar for 'Courage'
• 07/11/27: Will Class Warfare Work?
• 07/09/27: A Brave New World
• 07/02/27: Now the Fun Really Starts
• 06/19/27: You Can't Make This Stuff Up . . .
• 06/19/12: I Would Have Fired Him Before He Got Back to the Office
• 06/12/12: Time to Crush the Myth about Gender Pay Inequality
• 06/06/12: The Desperate Campaign of Barack Obama
• 06/01/12: Hey Fatso! Listen Up!
• 05/25/12: Going After the Stupid Vote
• 05/22/12: The X Factor(s)!
• 05/15/12: Obama Has a Halo; Newsweek Has No Shame
• 05/10/12: Authoritarians on Campus
• 05/08/12: Obama's Path to Victory: Divide and Conquer
• 05/01/12: President Cool Meets Reality
• 04/25/12: Why Media Bias Matters
• 04/17/12: NYT: At It Again
• 04/13/12: Kissing up to the Rev. Al
• 04/10/12: This Just In: War Breaks Out --- Thank You, Lord
• 04/03/12: In Cold Blood?
• 03/27/12: Trayvon Martin and Media Hypocrisy
• 03/26/12: Time to Go, Rick
• 03/22/12: Obama's Mantra: Don't Blame Me
• 03/19/12: The U.N. Human Rights Council --- and other Jokes
• 03/13/12: Bias in the News: Blame it on Their Zip Code
• 03/06/12: Thank Heaven for Rich People --- a Second Look
• 02/29/12: Some Free Advice for the Republican Field
• 02/28/12: Do We Have a Right to Lie?
• 02/16/12: Can Obama Win Re-Election by Promising Free Stuff?
• 02/06/12: The 5 Stages of Mitt
• 02/02/12: Florida Has Spoken; Cue the Fat Lady
• 01/30/12: The Other Global Warming Story
• 01/26/12: They See Racists Everywhere . . .
• 01/24/12: The Arrogant and Clueless Mainstream Media
• 01/23/12: Gingrich Wins SC --- Media Help Big Time
• 01/18/12: A New Entry for 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America
• 01/12/12: The Dream Ticket Could Be a Conservative Nightmare
• 01/11/12: Now 'Anybody But Romney' Has a Name
• 12/30/11: I Have a Confession to Make . . .
• 12/27/11: Know When to Hold 'em and Know When to Fold 'em
• 12/20/11: NBC News, the KKK and the State of Journalism
• 12/19/11: Mitt and Newt: Two Rich Guys Arguing Over Money
• 12/13/11: Donald Trump Is the Greatest; Just Ask Him
• 12/12/11: Rob Peter to Pay Paul: Bad Economics! Good Politics?
• 12/07/11: Yeah . . . and Fish Don't Know They're Wet, Either
• 12/06/11: Did the Media Play Fair with Herman Cain?
• 12/05/11: Obama to Blue-Collar America: Adios!
• 11/29/11: We Can Stop the Crazy Train Before It Gets to Greece
• 11/22/11: Who Can Beat Obama?
• 11/15/11: The Dumbest Media Question I've Ever Heard
• 11/09/11: What If Herman Cain Did It?
• 11/08/11: What If Herman Cain Were a Lib?
• 11/02/11: Who Can Beat Obama?
• 11/01/11: We're Approaching the Tipping Point
• 10/25/11: A Response to the Angry Purists
• 10/18/11: They're Waiting for Reagan to Hit the Campaign Trail
• 10/12/11: Read This!!! --- But Only If You Have Nothing Better To Do
• 10/04/11: Can Obama Win Re-Election?
• 09/27/11: It's NOT the Economy Stupid, It's Theology
• 09/20/11: Bad News on the Doorstep
• 09/09/11: Hypocrisy!
• 09/06/11: Back to the Future
• 08/24/11: Hillary vs. Obama in 2012? It'll Never Happen --- I Don't Think
• 08/22/11: Warning: Conservatives May Be Harmful to Your Mental Health
• 08/17/11: Warren Buffett, Coddled Billionaire
• 08/11/11: Too Much Balance in the Media?
• 08/04/11: All Aboard the Crazy Train
• 08/01/11: Liberal Hate Speech
• 07/25/11: With All Due Respect, Go Fly a Kite
• 07/20/11: Who Is A ‘Natural Born Citizen’?
• 07/18/11: Guess Who's Not Paying Their Fair Share
• 07/12/11: Against More Taxes? You May Be a Terrorist!
• 07/11/11: Casey Anthony: The TV Show
• 07/06/11: Standards and Double Standards at MSNBC
• 06/29/11: Is Jon Stewart A Racist?
• 06/21/11: Let's Play the Race Card --- Just for Fun Of Course
• 06/20/11: Sarah Palin and Weiner's Weiner
• 06/03/11: Memo to GOP: Turn Mr. Obama into Mr. Yesterday
• 05/20/11: I Get Letters From People Who Should Be Locked Up
• 05/09/11: Is ‘Torture’ Ever Justified?
• 05/02/11: The Promiscuous Use of the R Word
• 04/19/11: The Man Behind the Million Dollar Smile
• 04/12/11: What's the Difference Between Libs in Politics and Libs in the Media?
• 04/08/11: An Idea Whose Time Has Come — and Gone
• 03/28/11: The Pundits Are Driving Me Crazy --- And You Thought Qadaffi Is Nuts
• 03/14/11: No Liberal Bias at NPR — Just Ask NPR
• 03/10/11: The media's frustration
• 03/01/11: Progressives Lost in Time . . .
• 02/23/11: The Lamestreams Strike Again --- This Time in Madison
• 02/03/11: You MUST Own a Gun --- Or Else!
• 01/20/11: It Was Horrible, I tell you … HORRIBLE!
• 01/11/11: Here We Go Again . . .
• 01/06/11: You Go, Oprah
• 12/28/10: A Year-Ender --- The MSM and Obama's Fall from Grace
• 12/14/10: Thank Heaven for Rich People
• 12/02/10: The Phony Nobility of Wikileaks
© 2011, Bernard Goldberg
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