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Jewish World Review Feb 15, 2012/ 22 Shevat, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Grammy Awards drew thirty-nine million viewers to the CBS telecast Sunday. It was no surprise to anyone in the television business. You can't go wrong combining America's love of music with its morbid fascination for bodies found dead in Los Angeles. President Obama reversed himself on forcing churches to give women contraceptive coverage Friday. He also reversed his opposition to campaign PACs and started one for himself. Back when he lived in Hawaii flip-flops were shoes, now they are career extenders. Valentine's Day was a big day for florists, restaurants and candy makers Tuesday. A few hearts always get broken. Mitt got a lovely call from conservatives thanking him for the candy and flowers, but explaining that they would like to continue seeing other people. Newt Gingrich told the CPAC convention he'll replace Social Security with individual retirement accounts if he's president. It's high time. Americans have been paying into Social Security for seventy years and there are more old people now than the day it started. Donald Trump revealed Friday he'll build a four-star hotel near the White House. It's pure Trump. He says the hotel will be taller than the Martin Luther King monument, it'll be wider than the Washington Monument, with more arm chairs than the Lincoln Memorial. Cincinnati's Don High School is paying kids a twenty-five dollar Visa card to show up on time and behave. It's supposed to teach them adult responsibility. After four years of perfect attendance and model behavior they'll have enough credit to flip houses in Florida.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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