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Jewish World Review Feb 14, 2012/ 21 Shevat, 5772 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | California began providing two hundred schools with free school dinners for kids for the first time ever. The state is calling it the Healthy Hunger-Free Food Act. They were going to call it the Eat It for Lunch or You'll Get It for Dinner Program, but it didn't test well. Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood urged the overthrow of military rule to allow Islam to rule Egypt. The people are caught between a junta and a theocracy. It took Americans two hundred forty years to get to the exact same point, and Egypt got there in two weeks. The State Department warned U.S. students Friday not to visit Mexico this spring due to cartel violence. It makes no sense. Kids who go to Cancun on spring break are going to be the cartel's best customers for the next twenty years so why on earth would they kill them? The Mexican Army seized fifteen tons of methamphetamine in a raid on a cartel lab Thursday. It's worth four billion dollars. NBA Commissioner David Stern is coming in to show the generals how to divide four billion dollars without having a labor stoppage. Shippensburg College acknowledged Friday it sells women's morning-after pills in a student union vending machine. The times are changing way too fast. Pfizer scientists just formulated a morning-after pill for men, it changes your DNA and your phone number. Elizabeth Taylor's estate sold forty of her paintings for twenty-five million dollars at Christie's auction house in London Friday, after her jewelry and dresses sold last week for one hundred fifty million at Christie's in New York. The legal wrangling has just begun. The War of 1812 was fought over far less than the taxes from Elizabeth Taylor's estate sale.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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