Jewish World Review Feb. 3, 2006 / 5 Shevat, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Virginia Governor Tim Kaine got low marks for his Democratic
response to the State of the Union. He tried to shame Republicans
for passing tax breaks for the rich. Democrats believe it's okay
to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.
Capitol Police apologized Tuesday for arresting Cindy
Sheehan for wearing an antiwar tee-shirt at the State of the
Union. Guards seized her when she unzipped her jacket. It's Super
Bowl week and everyone's on alert for a wardrobe malfunction.
OPEC said President Bush's plan to cut U.S. dependence on
Middle East oil will scare away investment in oil facilities. They
believed him? This is like Hostess warning that Twinkie sales will
plummet if Tommy Chong enters the Betty Ford Center.
The Pittsburgh Steelers and Seattle Seahawks were told
Monday they will have pay three percent of their Super Bowl money
in state taxes to Michigan. The money is earmarked for emergency-
room services and rape counseling. It's a user fee.
Dennis Rodman resigned as Commissioner of the Lingerie Bowl
on Wednesday due to what he called a sponsor conflict. The models
are being slandered as sleazy people who'll do anything for money.
Forget the end zone, they should run for office.
The House of Representatives heard testimony Wednesday
afternoon on the need for a federal ban on the sale of telephone
records. Comedians are outraged by the attempted ban. Why deprive
Bob Newhart of the royalties from his early work?
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg was thwarted Tuesday in his effort to get his girlfriend, bank commissioner Diana Taylor, named to head the FDIC. The billionaire mayor has very few friends in Washington. If you're going to give away a hundred million dollars a year to charity you shouldn't make the announcement in front of a hungry congressman.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton